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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I feel unsure about the guy I'm seeing
tammy.
Kad17
So I find myself in a relatively new situation in which I am the one who is unsure how to feel about the guy I’m dating. Usually, its the other way around.
For some background, we’ve been seeing each other for a month and been on 6 dates. I’ve met a couple of his friends and I generally have a good time on our dates. He does not call our dates as “hang outs” and is really into PDA. I haven’t been very into PDA as much, possibly because I took a long break from dating, so maybe this is why I’m feel a bit unsure. We have yet to sleep together. While he has a lot of qualities I am attracted to, he also has a few quirks I don’t understand.
As someone who has been single for a long time, I know I must have some walls and my guard is up. Usually by the 6th date, the guy fades away and I think a part of me is expecting this to happen. Has anyone been in this situation and has advice? Should I just relax a bit more and see how it goes? I don’t want to rush and define this because I don’t feel sure yet.
mama
I was single by choice for YEARS after my last break up. Dating after being independent for so long is very tough!
Honestly, this isn’t about not dating for a long time, it’s about you questioning your boundaries. If you aren’t into PDA, then don’t do it. Let him know in a kind way that you aren’t comfortable with it and give specific examples of what you are comfortable with. If he respects and abides by this boundary you’ve clarified, that could be a good sign.
Boundaries are a healthy way to date – only when your boundaries are met/respected will you be able to “relax a bit more”. Maybe consider this practice for yourself the more you are clear with your boundaries, the better you’ll get at definining them for yourself and others.
Kad17
Thanks mama for the reply. The thing with PDA is, I was super into it in my last relationship! I’m not sure why I’m feeling a bit differently about it now.
tammy
agree with mama. but what quirks about this man dont you understand?
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