Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › i fell in love with my one night stand
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by
Hannah.
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natalie
i’m in an open relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years. i recently hooked up with a guy i met on tinder and it was the best night of my life. we talked for hours about everything, cuddled and watched movies, and went all the way multiple times. he treated me like a princess and my current boyfriend hasn’t done that for me in years… my hookup and i still talk and plan on seeing each other again… what should i do?
Alice
We’d need to know more.
Are there any rules to your open relationship? Or is it a free for all?
Do you have to tell each other when you’re hooking up with someone else or gaining feelings for someone else?
Do you live with your boyfriend? Does tinder guy know your situation?
natalie
he has another girlfriend that he’s been committed to for the past 6 months. we tell each other when we are going to hookup with someone else but none of the details of how it went. it’s pretty much a free for all. we never talked about what would happen if we gained feelings for our hookups. he’s always has feelings for his other girlfriend and she is a friend of mine also which is why i was ok with it happening. i do live with my boyfriend and the other girlfriend doesn’t live with us. my hookup knows about the situation as well. i guess what confused me is that i’ve never had a guy treat me the way that my hookup treated me. we can have a normal conversation, not just about sex. he talks to me as if he genuinely cares about me or is concerned about me. my boyfriend is kind of an a****** when it comes to that. we don’t go on dates or find each other flirting with each other throughout the day. he’s also very controlling of the other girlfriend but doesn’t care what i do, which to me is a red flag. someone please give me some advise!
Newbie
Is it your bf who has another gf or your hook up? At first i assumed you meant the hook up has a gf but at the end i think you meant your bf who has lost interest in you. Is that correct?
natalie
My bf has another gf. My hookup is single.
Lane
Sorry but this isn’t love, its lust/infatuation which is a chemical reaction such a big rush of dopamine like when riding a roller coaster. Whereas, true romantic love is much CALMER because you feel absolutely safe and secure with the man because he is in love with you too.
Additionally men don’t experience *the connection* the way a woman does, in fact, its completely opposite. They don’t have the same set of criteria woman do, such as the one’s you listed….nope a mans is very primal, not surface stuff, whereas in just a few nanoseconds they can size a woman up and know exactly where she stands with him either as a friend, sex only/sex buddy or GF/wife. If he doesn’t say “wow that woman is awesome, I want to be her BF, then he’ll never be your BF/husband.
I would get your head out of the clouds and come back to earth before you crash. Yes, it feels wonderful to be treated nicely but this will only be temporary (short term) and you’ll be crushed when he starts the fade or ends it (bounces). It doesn’t sound like your happy in your relationship, whereas this guy isn’t going to be the fix but just make you feel worse. I think it might be time for you to end the relationship with your BF and find someone who can love you the way you need to feel loved as the only person who’s suffering is you.
natalie
my bf and i have talked since then and we know we have things to work on… it’s hard for me to have a sweet, intelligent, and super attractive man talk to me on a daily basis and it’s not just all about sex… he’s so polite and treats me the way i should be treated… it’s hard not to fall in love with that
Hannah
I kinda agree with Lane but then again think Lane might have a bit too romantic thoughts about love and how men and women should be when in love. After all we are all humans with different backgrounds. It is not always so easy to show your emotions or be so obvious about your feelings to the other person. Especially when there is already some history behind. Many couples are together no matter if they are really in love with each other and the other part in that relationship might think that they feel so safe and loved and the other might not even know what love really is (for them). So I would say, go and do what feels right for you. Try it, test it – then you know. What ever the result will be, you will survive it. But if you never try you will never know.
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