Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I followed him on instagram (Found him through a dating app) should I DM him?
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Sensy.
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Julie
So I found this guy a couple weeks ago on this dating app. I swiped right but we didn’t match. On the app it says he lives pretty far so not sure if he swiped left on me or just hasn’t seen my profile. He put his insta handle in his bio because he’s a photographer on the side so I followed him. (For context we’re both 24 if that helps) He didn’t follow back but he doesn’t look like the type to follow back unless he knows them. Then again I don’t know him so lol. I asked some of my friends if I should DM him or not but I got a lot of both sides.
Some told me to just react to his stories for now, and later commenting on his pics, basically try to befriend him before you say anything because you don’t know each other, and maybe he’ll follow back through these interactions.
But some of my friends are saying to just DM him, and not waste my time since this is all online the chances of becoming a friend through instagram/online might not work at all. And then DM him being honest how I found him on a dating app, and say something along the lines of thinking he would be a cool guy to get to know. They said distance, being strangers, other reasons would all be reasons to say no/reject me no matter how hard I tried to befriend him. They told me this way if he isn’t interested I can move on and keep swiping and not waste months trying.
I’m so confused on what I should do lol. He seems genuinely really nice and somehow *seems* to check so many boxes for me. I’m not afraid to DM him to be honest but I also don’t want to be creepy. But with that said I also don’t waste my time if he’s not interested in anyway. Asking for a friend haha. Thanks!
Newbie
I know i must sound pretty dumb but dm is sending a private message? I see how he could have missed you on a dating app, so i get you want to get to get his attention. React to stories sounds kind of pathetic to me so i would go with the virtual kind of giving him your phone number. And then see if he takes the bait. I can think of cute pick up lines but can you?
Raven
It feels stalker-ish…
Newbie
To me its not stalker-ish, you looked this guy up, you want to make him aware of your existence. Ok but dont go beyond that
Anderson
It’s great to be transparent, but it’s a superfluous detail to admit upfront imo. It’s not stalking when someone voluntarily links the insta to the app. If he asks how you found him then sure tell him. But it’s really nbd
You said there are many boxes he checks. I’d say just strike up a conversation about one of those topics eg. something in his photos that you liked or were curious about.
Him not messaging you after you followed him might be indicative of his lack of interest. But that just means you have nothing to lose so just DM him and you never know
Sam
Agree with Raven. This all seems a bit much and not natural at all.. you also mentioned he lives far from you, so why even bother?
Julie
Haha yeah I get it, def not natural but this was more of a backstory. It’s really simple other wise he left his IG handle, I followed. The point is I don’t want to waste time so just trying to see what I should do because he seems worth the effort. And I guess I should have clarified, he lives outside my city so it’s not that far. To be honest the guys in my city are the reason why i’m looking elsewhere.
Julie
I really like this, and agree! i think I might just try to strike a conversation and if it doesn’t go anywhere i’ll take the hint. Thanks for your help! :)
Sam
Ahhh ok. Honestly, I know nothing about how these dating apps work lol. Sending you good luck!
Julie
Thanks Sam! It’s okay I use them and I don’t even know how they work lol
Angel
I have read a story of people who got married from the woman having liked and direct-messaged the guy’s FB post. So i would do DM – more time and energy is wasted mulling over it, and as the saying goes, we regret more something we have not done rather than something we have done. There is a million reasons why this may not work out. So stakes are not really that high. When messaging though, I would keep the tone nice and friendly, maybe referencing something he posted on IG so that it sounds more like a natural conversation opener rather than a ‘stalk’. Tell us what happens! x
Sensy
I would go for it…”…I would like to meet you in person.”..(include a picture and brief details of yourself).
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