i got stood up. why?

I dont understand this. First u have sex with him so early and he must have branded you as trash. Then if he treats you like trash, you are upset? What else did you expect?

I know it’s harsh, but you are too easy and he lost interest, move on.

Here’s a guy perspective about the whole having sex too early and being trashy or not.
men do determine their level respect for women early on…so the “easier” you are, the more willing you are to put out can definitely change the opinion of a man….in theory everyone should be judged equally with balanced investment and commitment, but If you know anything men and listen to them you’ll realize that there is definitely a double standards…men feel it’s ok to get laid with as many women as they want, but they expect women to be uptight or give some difficulty/resistance or they’ll just chalk you up to “that type of girl”. Not many guys are going to openly admit that, I would expect most men to say they either don’t care or they don’t judge but personally that’s not what I think is true, any guy that really cares and wants something long-term is going to be at the very least curious to whether you’re the kind of girl that gets around or not. If they don’t want anything serious or they see you as a temporary thing, they won’t give a **** because they’re just using the vagina in the same way it doesn’t matter to them.

Casual sex doesn’t have to be a sin, but both people have to be on the same page and communicate with each other on their expectations and intentions…often men want casual sex with women who are relationship material because they want a better “quality” then the girl at the club who’s vagina is hanging out and she sloshed over from tequilla shots…men have an ego, they want to feel like they conquered and achieved something, it’s how many men develop their pride…that’s why they go for the “good girls”, but some also could care less…it just depends on the values, morals and raunchyness of that particular man because it’s kind of the same thing any way you slice…some people just think one thing is better than another so they can feel better about themselves.

The majority of guys you run into are going to be after your vagina, the guys that are the good guys you probably won’t be attracted or interested in…so you determine how easily you’re going to give it out or not. What you’ll get and see as “romance” and “intimacy” from guys will just be that initial interest of wanting to have sex with you, but this will be quite typically or they won’t even get back to you but he clearly just wants you as a FWB to me.

Yes i deleted his number and am not planning on ever talking to him again. Disrespect me and my time is a no go. Also let me maybe give a few extra details… I am not trash, nor did i sleep with him before because I was easy, we had what I thought was a connection, great chat, physical interest, talk and hand out effortlessly. But that was two months ago, and this was meant to be our ‘catch up’ after not seeing each other. OBVIOUSLY he is not interested and doesn’t respect me in the slightest so our ‘friendship’ or aquaintence-ship is now over. What my question is, is why put in all the effort to make the date(he set the day), promising you want to see me, talking to me the day before about details, how attracted you are to me, etc if you’re not going to show up?

It really bothers me when I hear that men think that a woman is easy because she slept with him on the first or second date. I hate generalizations. Maybe they should consider that the woman slept with him because she found him extremely attractive. That doesn’t mean that she is easy and sleeps with any guy she meets. Maybe she didn’t plan to do it but it happened. Maybe it doesn’t happen to her often or whatever. It’s always about degrading women, and justifying men. Not fair. But this is how society has been taught.

The rules on this forum state something along the lines of never calling the OP trash or being disrespectful. The way to word such opinions would be to say something like this … ” many men can interpret early sex as a sign that you are not interested in a serious relationship or they can feel they have not been presented with much of a challenge and that you would be this friendly with any man”

It all comes down to confidence and the luck of the draw. If a woman makes a big deal out of early sex and regrets it that will go against her. If a man is mature and feels this was a special connection and that you are still reserved in opening up the secrets of your soul then he may view you as an intelligent woman with a healthy appetite for sex with no hang ups about rules.

I feel he just wants to play around and found another woman. The only real connection is lust and good chemistry – some shared humour and interests. It takes months before you can really feel you have moved into a possible love situation. He has shown he is a jerk so it’s a lucky break you escaped

I second what may said… It’s about your confidence in reference to “early” sex. But be real, guys that think they can judge you for sleeping with them too “early” yet pull behavior like this I find comical. Like really??? You don’t have basic manners and are incapable of practicing proper social etiquette and you’re trying to make ME feel bad. Lol. Yeah right! Little boys make me laugh

Lol exactly Alia If someone is judging you because you had sex with them early , especially when they are right there having sex with you and being 50% responsible, then they are hypocrites and hold ridiculous double standards. Bullet dodged. Bye Felicia.

Oops…Message was directed to Sarita not Sabrina.

This post is 1+ years old!

Adding on to what Zach said, the value of the woman (for a relationship or not) depends on the value they place on themself

He’s an a$$hole. Probably just being nice because he thought he could sleep with you again that night. He may have gotten a better offer (better in his mind). This has happened to me too, and I have learned not to pursue men, and to be cautious with those who are pursuing me. Nothing wrong with casual sex, but I think men handle it differently. I’m also skeptical of any man showing “romantic interest” because it’s usually about sex, just like when men pretend to be your friend and all the time are waiting for an opening to sleep with you. True love is elusive. It can start from a one night stand or a platonic friendship, but it is also RARE. Most women are looking for love and men are looking for sex. That’s why it’s good to hold off on having sex (with a guy you really like) so that you do not fall in love too soon. Men tend to know what they want from the beginning. In my experience, the men who really wanted me were not attractive and saw me as some kind of prize. Whenever it was reversed and I showed a man I really wanted him, he would use me and treat me like crap. I am done with sex for now, until I find something genuine. Sex is not just for pleasure, it was intended to create life and bond two people together. I am non-religious but I believe in the sacredness of sex. Try celibacy for a while, and see how that works. You will start to understand how full of $hit most of these guys are. I wish you luck, and remember, no one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent! ~A message to all of the beautiful ladies out there~