Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I HATE his laugh
- This topic has 18 replies and was last updated 9 years, 6 months ago by
Stefanie.
-
AuthorPosts
-
June
Hi ladies,
I know this may sound trivial and like I’m nitpicking, maybe I am or maybe someone can relate. Please HELP! I met this guy about a month ago. He’s kind, sweet, attentive, has goals, and he knows how to treat a woman. In this time frame we’ve been on plenty of dates, sometimes 2-4 in one week. Here’s the dilemma, I hate his laugh and how hysterically goofy he can be at times. Its not too often but sometimes I just want to say shut up. Its loud and kind of seems fake but he’s clearly laughing hysterically. I’m trying to look past it because he’s a great guy. Any suggestions on what I should do? I think he would be an ideal match for me but his laugh just turns me off
Rose
Lol … That’s probably more common than you think. There are some things about a person that can drive you crazy.
The solution is in you, you can’t tell him he has a horrible laugh, that would affect his ego and he’ll resent you. His silly and loud laugh is part of who he is. And probably another woman would love that about him, who knows…
If he’s an awesome man in any other way think, nobody’s perfect and it better be his laugh and not something else.
Learn how to cope with it and accept him with all his qualities and that one silly annoying thing he does.
Ivy
“I hate his laugh and how hysterically goofy he can be at times. Its not too often but sometimes I just want to say shut up.”
If he bothers you and this is a core part of who he is, then he is not the right guy for you. Sure when you are with someone there will always be some things that you don’t like about them, but if this bothers you this much now, imagine in a year, two, five, ten……you are actually not very attracted to this guy or his personality/laugh/goofiness would attract you not repel you.
L
June
When you really like someone those little things can usually be “cute” especially in the beginning. It seems that it is something you find “annoying” and are probably not that really into him. If you find it really annoying then I would pull back a little and reconsider if this is someone you really like or are just forcing yourself to like because he seems like the perfect match. Maybe some distance between you will make you realize hey its not so annoying after all!
When I meet someone and I “kind of” like him I have to convince myself of why I like him and it shouldn’t be like that. ….those annoying habits usually don’t show up until after years of marriage “lol” not in a month.
kimf
this is not your guy and be sure you don’t talk yourself into being with him since he’s a “great guy”. Women often make the mistake of thinking they should be with someone since there are positive attributes. Unless you are ok with settling, you should not be annoyed at this point. My new guy’s laugh makes me completely melt and want to hug him.
Think about what you really want and what your ideal relationship feels like. There may be something that is rubbing you the wrong way about this guy and its a good chance its your gut talking.
June
Rose, I didn’t plan to tell him because I know it would probably hurt his feelings. His laugh just seems generic like “Ha HA HAAAAAAAAAAA” I’m actually laughing as I type this. Its just weird and annoying at times. I don’t think its a deal breaker but I cant help that I don’t like it.
Ivy, maybe he isn’t the right guy for me. I’m just not sure that it should be determined by his laugh though. Do you understand what I’m saying? I know that laughing is apart of everyday life and he does laugh alot because he’s just full of live and character. I like that about him, just not the hysterical annoying laugh.
L, I actually enjoy spending time with him and I am into him, just not his laugh. I think he’s a good guy that’s my issue. I don’t want to change him. I just thought that maybe someone had experienced this before and they actually had a change of heart. I’m wondering if the one thing that annoys me now may actually be cute later if I fall for him.
June
Kimf, I think you just talked some sense into me. I want to feel butterflies with I’m with my significant other. I want to be insanely happy and I want to feel appreciated. I don’t want to settle but in the back of my mind I’m like what if he’s the guy I’ve been praying for and I’m nitpicking at his laugh and possibly sabotaging a good thing. He acts just like everything I would want in a significant other. At the end of the day, I don’t want to be a woman that settles. I want everything to just feel right.
June
full of life^
Ivy
June, I don’t think a laugh should determine the course of a relationship but I know that whatever bothers you now will bother you 10-fold in the future. Imagine you are married to him, no longer that new kind of love, then he laughs and now you aren’t feeling the lovey dovey feeling so all you feel is – like you said “shut up” only now that it’s 5 years later, you add a few curse words. Now of course I don’t know that will happen but people generally don’t start off saying I want him to shut up, then falling in love with that same laugh. Cause that laugh is always going to be there, if you want kids, you will hear the laugh, if you are out with relatives, there is the laugh, at a wedding table there is the laugh. It’s a laugh you will always hear and even if you want to say shut up just some of the time, what if it becomes more of the time?
If something like that bothered a guy about me, I would prefer they weren’t even with me, I want a guy who likes my laugh, my sense of humor, my personality, and my quirks, cause I know if a guy doesn’t like it now, he’s going to detest it later.
Tough call, but it does suggest a lack of attraction for him. I remember my ex loved the way my nose crinkled when I laughed, he never stopped loving that but he did stop telling me it, I don’t think it works the reverse, gee I can’t stand that laugh, but now that I really love you it just grew on me… but maybe I am wrong.
Why don’t you give it time to test out how much it annoys you. Are you every embarrassed in public when he laughs? If yes, that’s kind of a red flagish thing.
kimf
I’m glad June. And I agree with Ivy, what if he didn’t like your laugh? I know without a doubt that if a guy told me he didn’t like my laugh, I would say well then Im not the one for you mister.
This is a tough call because it is not clear. Just please don’t talk yourself into anything and take it slow. I don’t think this is the right guy but you never know! Strange things are known to happen. You might end up falling head over heels in love with his laugh. But if you don’t, then its time to call it.
June
Ivy, Your examples about “there is the laugh” is hysterical to me. I agree I don’t see now how my feelings could change being that it’s already negative. Just this past weekend, he and I went to the movies. Of course it was a comedy movie LOL and that’s when his laugh began to bother me. It was just weird, annoying, and I did want him to shut up. That was the first time it really got on my nerves. I can admit I was embarrassed a little.
Ivy
June, I am glad you thought it was funny cause I was trying to be funny but in a realistic kind of way…lol Ok, so you know girl, this guy isn’t the one for you, he may be awesome, he may be nice, but he still may not be for you if his laugh annoys you…lol Comedy movie….lol
And there probably is some woman out there who will adore him and his laugh, that would be a better match.
kimf
Yep! My new guy has this kinds dorky silly little laugh that I just adore! OMG..its so cute. and who knows? Maybe his ex hated it?? I say hold out for someone who does it for you, life is short. I never settled, came close, but just refused to settle. Now I know why. Being so completely into someone is just so incredible.
Em
If everything else about him checks out (personality, humor, goals, values, looks) you might get over it in time.
If however the laugh impairs your physical attraction to him then I would *seriously* reconsider.
Against my better judgement I dated a gentleman for whom I had 0 physical attraction. He was not ugly. He was just not attractive to me.
But it didn’t help that he smiled constantly. This gave his face a “fixed” appearance, like he was too eager to please, and made it difficult to understand him when he talked.
We got along well. He did *everything* right.
Then he leaned in for a kiss and….ew.
Stefanie
Watch Friends episodes with Chandler and Janice. She had the world’s most annoying laugh.
June
Kimf, I’m sure the guy for me is out there. He’ll come along when I’m not even thinking about it.
Em, it impairs my physical attraction to him a little, not drastically but enough to be concerned. I don’t want to force anything but I am attracted to him. I don’t know how you did it with the guy you weren’t attracted to. Its always the “nice” guys that we aren’t attracted to. I just want to feel that spark with my man.
Stefanie, I will definitely check that out. I’m sure its not as bad as this guys LOL
Stefanie
It probably isn’t June. It would be hard to beat Janice! There are clips on YouTube, just search on Janice and Chandler. It will make you laugh.. and I hope help you put the situation into perspective. :)
June
Stefanie, I just watched it online and OMG its the WORST….so annoying!
Stefanie
ROTFL – she turned up in the first season and was so popular they kept bringing her back. Actress is Maggie Wheeler. In real life she sounds nothing like that but she grew up in NYC so she knew the type.
-
AuthorPosts
