I have to write this from the heart

Hello all, I’m sitting here crying as I type this. Recently me and my boyfriend of 9 months broke up and although the relationship didn’t last that long, we had a very deep bond. I would definitely describe him as my twin flame. We had a lot of differences but we balanced each other out. We were best friends more than anything. When we met there was an instant connection and we developed a friendship before dating. Unfortunately, along the way, things got difficult as we are both young and not ready for a relationship (and maybe not that compatible).
Our communication hasn’t entirely stopped but I did go two weeks without talking to him and I was very proud of myself. Then, the other day, something bizarre happened that urged me to reach out to him. It was the day after his birthday. I didn’t wish him a happy birthday the day of because I was trying to do “No Contact.” But, the next day, I found his earring on my bedroom floor. This is bizarre because he hasn’t been in my new apartment, but in my old apartment he was always losing his earrings and one of them mysteriously turned up in my new place…right in the middle of my floor for me to see as soon as I woke up that day. Things got weirder when I went out later, I was at a bar with some friends and happened to see someone me and my ex used to work with. I said hi and asked how my ex was. Our mutual friend said he didn’t know because my ex was fired from his job. I instantly became worried about him and felt the need to reach out. I had a feeling in my gut all week that something was wrong and my instinct was right. I really took all of this as a sign from the universe so I called him and he picked up….
Long story short, I wound up at his apartment and we hooked up. I could tell my ex was in a terrible state though. When we broke up, he told me he was going to focus on working out and his job. Here he was, more overweight than he had been with me and jobless. I really believed that our breakup would benefit him but it seems to be the opposite. I am very confused because I can tell there are still feelings there but he believes his pushing me away is the best.
Meanwhile, I’m actually doing very well. I’ve been moving up at my job, made tons of new friends, and I’m going on a trip with my best friend in a month. Why is this the case? He wanted me to get better for us to date and here I am, better with my own life and my own happiness and he still doesn’t want me. I’ve given him space and he still doesn’t want me. I’m trying so hard to move on from this but something keeps pulling me back. I don’t believe this is the man I’m going to end up with but I do believe he’s meant to be in my life in some way. Anyway, we were texting after I saw him the other night and now he has stopped responding. Where do I go from here?