I just wanted to say thank you


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  • #860847 Reply
    Ella

    Hi all, Im only 22, and have been reading this forum for a few years now since I was 17, and honestly just wanted to say thank you for the advice and pointers given on here. I know sometimes the advice can be harsh, but it has ultimately always been the right thing in the end.
    I finally just pulled the plug on some dude who was being hot and cold with me, and he told me he cannot see me, but then awkwardly invited me to visit him. and then as I was just being polite trying to end the conversation/whatever this was, he decided to reply with “i mean a relationship between us is out of the picture but i’d still love to hangout with you if i have the opportunity”, and I finally put my foot down and told him I am not going to be on the backburner, and sometimes things just don’t work out and thats ok. Good luck.” I think I could have been harsher but I didn’t think he was worth any more of my energy after being led on. He goes from seeming to have respect for me, then pulls the “im not going to ever commit to you, but i think you’re super fun and cool and stil would love to have sex with you” card like DUDE.

    I know without this forum I would have second guessed myself ending this hot and cold relationship thing, so thank you. Once again. I am a bit sad, since we did have chemistry but, its for the best.

    #860855 Reply
    I_D

    More power and love to you girl ! you did the right thing ! 🤗🤗🤗

    #860868 Reply
    Amelia

    Ella, your post appeared right on time while I was searching for my old post. I wanted to make a comment to thank the community for the same reasons you listed in the post, so I might as well do it here.

    I was a rebound for a guy who still keeps his ex pics in the social media (he even showed me pic of his ex) and explicitly told he is not ready for a relationship (but wanted to keep me next to him). I liked him so much that I accepted it, thinking I might be able to change his mind. I did not know what to do because he would do all these sweet things to me when we met and when we weren’t together, he would be absent and cold.

    I shared my helplessness and frustration here and the advices I got was to let go (unanimously). I followed that and he did not even have the decency to reply me. I remember crying a lot, doubting myself if I wasn’t good enough.

    1.5 month later, I met my boyfriend in the most natural way. A responsible guy who is ready to commit. I was taking my dog on a stroll and he would see me in the park sitting alone. I was broken and I never knew loving a person could be easy, as long as we both are on the same page towards the same goal.

    Ladies, if the guy you are seeing is not on the same page as you are, or he is not sure/not ready for commitment, cut your losses and move on. It’s painful but it makes room for the right person to come into your life. And thank you for all the great advices here, they are source of courage and extremely powerful.

    #860967 Reply
    Reader

    Same for me. I joined this forum after a guy was playing the hot and cold game on me as well. Damn I was so confused and thé ladies here would basically tell me “you’re not confused at all, you just don’t want to do what you know you should do’.
    I then throwed him back in the curb. Met a wonderful Guy A few weeks later. Hé tried twice to come back afterwards but I never let him get in (my pants lol) since I was stronger and much more aware. I would do like Lane always saider “be confident, act like a lady but think like a man”.
    That was in 2012, I am married to the wonderful Guy (4 year anniversary next week). Still reading thé forum as it is Still useful to me so Thanks you all ☺

    #861206 Reply
    mama

    What an awesome thread. :) A lot of the regular posters have been here for years and even though they are harsh (I am sometimes, too) they do give honest assessments of situations because they are just dealing with the facts you present, not emotion. It doesn’t always work out but when it does it’s awesome to see the lightbulb go on and people grow from the exchange. And when we know better, we do better.

    Congrats to all of you!!!!

    #861236 Reply
    ANM Staff
    Keymaster

    Congratulations! Thank you for taking the time to share your positive stories. <3

    #861238 Reply
    AngieBaby

    THREE CHEERS! I wish I’d learned how to date and understand men many years ago through the wisdom of women and not willy nilly trial and error. I’m so glad you are getting it early. Thanks for taking the time to let us know.

    #861574 Reply
    Lane

    Great post! I thankfully had my dad to guide me through the dating minefield in my late teens, and it saved me from a lot of the pitfalls so many make today.

    Its great to hear that you all found a great man when you were able to let go of the wrong one. I hope more ladies empower themselves, this way. Knowledge is Power! :o)

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