Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › I know my crush likes me but he avoids me
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oomarieoo.
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oomarieoo
Hi everyone, there is a guy in my class we got along very well and I am completely lost. The signs that he likes me are the following:
-I know him since 1 month and he organized a surprised birthday party for me in class… I didn’t tell him that it was my birthday… He even contacted the teacher for the event… He then said that he organized the birthday only for me and he won’t do it for anyone else.
-He always drives me home
-He stayed in the library only if I am there.
-He used to call me many times a week just to chat
-He told me many times that for him “I have many qualities, I am too perfect and that he is nothing compared to me”
-We look at each other in class and smile. He often blush afterwards.
etc..Since 2 weeks, he completely stopped calling me and he often avoids me… He look at me weirdly in class and when I send him a text he takes 6 hours to answer with small sentences.. Once, I called him and he didn’t answer. He used to be natural with him and say jokes all the time, now he is stressed when he is with me!
We used to eat together with my class for the lunch break, now he never wants to eat with me.
He also sends me mixed signals because few days ago he asked me if we could eat the two of us. I couldn’t finish my salad which was not tasty and he bought me another dish !
Weirdly, it seems like he feels better when we are the two of us not in a group and with the class.I would like our relationship to grow but I have no idea what to do.. Can you give me some advice? Should I wait for him to do the first step?
Better off single
Move on
Anderson
Are you the same person from the post last week where you two were of different religions?
oomarieoo
Hey,
Thank you for your answer… if someone can help me it would be really useful I don’t know what to do :(
He seems obviously very interested but why can’t he invite me for a date?Anderson
How old are you two?
It’s not uncommon for someone young or inexperienced who has a crush on you to behave this way if they’re struggling with their feelings towards you
Or he’s attracted to you but doesn’t see anything long-term developing for X reasons and as a result avoids you. Yet he’s attracted to you hence the mixed signals.
Truth is… nobody knows why he’s doing this and can only throw out guesses. I hate to say this because I know a lot of people lack the courage. But seriously grow a pair and ask him why he’s acting so strange with you. If he clarifies, great. If pretends to play a fool, he’s too immature to date.
tammy
ask him straight out whats up with this behaviour? if he continues to act this way, just ignore him.
Lane
The infatuation is wearing off.
It starts with lust/infatuation (look it up); however, in most cases, it doesn’t last long and those initial feelings begin to wane as they get to know you better and decide its not going to develop into anything long-term. In a nutshell, he’s lost interest and no longer feels nor has that initial desire/passion he felt when he first met you. It was most likely something you said or did that made him realize you were not someone he could see himself with long-term, so he’s stopped trying to impress you.
You can’t make people feel a certain way…they either do or they don’t. He once did and now he doesn’t.
oomarieoo
Thank you guys for your answer I really appreciate :)
I am 29 and he is 26. We talk to each other as usual now !
However, I don’t know, he confuses me, he sometimes acts as if he is jealous. When I talk to a guy, he seems pissed of. He can’t look at me without blushing.. He seems to be extremely intimidated by me. At the beginning, he acted normal and laughed with me as a friend since few weeks, he seems lost and very shy with me.I will let you know how the things go but I do not understand why he can’t act like a man and asks me for a date.
Lane
Goodness grief. He doesn’t want to! Why is this so hard for you to understand? If he wanted to ask you out he would have by now, has had ample opportunity to do so, but CHOOSES [key word] not to.
Since you want to run the show, control how he feels, and be *the man* why don’t you just ask him out on a date?
kaye
You say for 2 weeks he stopped calling you and is avoiding you but then say a few days ago he asked if just the two of you could eat together. That doesn’t sound like someone who is avoiding you! It’s really hard for a guy to ask a girl out if they are always in a group setting with people around such as with the class. But the fact he didn’t ask you out when you were eating together alone is strange. What do the two of you talk about when you’re alone? Is it possible you said something a couple weeks ago in a conversation that turned him off but you didn’t realize it? For example you say how much you like tall guys but he’s not much taller than you. Or how immature guys are who play videos games and he plays all the time. Or anything of a similar nature which he could have taken offense to.
oomarieoo
Thank you so much for your guidance ! He stopped avoiding me.. Now, in my class, people think that we are dating.. We are always together, talking to each other. I know he likes me but he seems to be intimidated (because I’m the best student in the class maybe ?).
When we were eating only the two of us, we were talking about our childhood. I didn’t like my food and he got up and bought me another sandwich. He was very cute and nice and acted as a “boyfriend” who cares about me.
It’s just that when we’re apart (week-ends or nights), we rarely talk and he is not active by messages (take hours to answer a simple text and that pisses me off).
I will wait but then will take a decision and will ask him on date.Tallspicy
MEN WHO WANT TO BE BOYFRIENDS, ACT LIKE BOYFRIENDS.
If he is not contacting you and not responding quickly, he does not like you. Potentially he likes you a little, but not enough.
Please stop spinning his half assed flirting etc into your own projections. I know this is harsh, and I am saying it to wake you up. When a man likes you, you know it and he acts on it. If he does not, he leaves or is wishy washy.
Any man who ignores you, does not ask you out, or is non-responsive is not into you. Period.
Tallspicy
Oh yeah and if he is intimidated – find a man who is not. Do not dim yourself for this fool.
K
I”m going to join those who are being really blunt.
Forget this guy.
He’s told you straight up he’s not good enough for you.
This is a crazy, silly rollercoaster ride… and you aren’t even actually dating.
Look down the road a step or two. Even if he did ask you out, he’d freak out and run away again. He’s acting like a boy not a man. You don’t want or need this.
He’s not capable of normal dating much less a real relationship right now. You’re wasting your time. And women who keep hanging around men who are unavailable, are unavailable themselves as I read a wise person here say in a post recently.
The real question is, why do you persist in focusing on someone who isn’t stepping up?? What will it take for you to meet a man who’s truly interested in you and willing to have a relationship???? (Assuming that’s what you want.)
K
And DO NOT ASK HIM OUT!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER CHASE A MAN.
Pursuing and courting a woman is a man’s job. Don’t take a man’s job away from him and emasculate him. He will resent you for it in the end.
You will regret it if you start chasing him. You will be back here crying at how he rejected you somehow. GUARANTEED.
oomarieoo
Wow guys you are all amazing! Thank you for those wise words. You are totally right. I needed to read this, I just could think of that by myself..
You’re so good on giving advises. You are right : he is acting like a boy and I do not need that, i need a man who knows what he wants.Thanks again!!
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