Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › I like my long distance guy friend, does he like me?
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 10 years, 1 month ago by Grace.
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Grace
Hi, I’m in my teenage years and currently confused about my guy friend. He is two years older than I am, and he’s the only person I know that is my ideal type. He’s not attractive, just decent, but his personality is amazing. He is kind, respectful, extremely smart, mature, funny, and musically talented, too. (Plays five instruments).He’s kind of nerdy, but I have to admit that I am nerdy, too.
I met a guy nine months ago, during an international competition. This competition was three days long, and people from different countries were put into random groups of six (this grouping is not for the whole competition, only a quarter of it. The rest of the competition was Individual). This guy, let’s call him X, was in my group.I’m an introverted person, so during this group session I barely spoke. I did, however, receive the email addresses of all my groupmates.
When I got back home, I emailed him. He replied, and added me on Facebook, as well as Skype. When we first started talking it was just simple things to get to know each other better. Then he asked if I gamed. I said yes, and immediately he became more talkative. It turned out that we play the same game, and we started to play together on weekends. Every time we play, we would go on Skype to voice call. During this period of time I still regarded him as a friend.
July was the time I realised my feelings for him. We talked much more that month. He was in the states for smart kid camp, so we had around a 14 hour difference. It didn’t bother me though, in fact it was a great thing, since I have insomnia. He was really sweet when we messaged each other. He always greets me with “good morning/night”, and when I couldn’t sleep he tried to help me. There were also moments where he sounded a bit weird, and they made me think that he had feelings for me as well.
For instance, he promised me that we would meet again someday, and that he would teach me how to ice skate. Then when I took a picture of my guitars (I’m in a band) and sent it to him with the caption “My boyfriends”, he said “What about me?”. Another time was when his graduation ceremony ended rather late, and he messaged me saying that he was tired. I told him to go to bed, but he said “I still want to talk to you..”. I also asked him if he were joining the competition again since I would be in 2015. He passed the agr limit already, and he said “Aww, I wanted to see you again..”. To me, those were signs that he liked me.
In August, when we got back into school, we didn’t speak much. I take all advanced classes, so I am always busy with projects. The ocassional “Sup” and “How’s it going?” comes from either one of us, but we do not continue a long conversation. Lately, most of the greetings come from me. This makes me feel that he has lost interest in me, and that he doesn’t want to speak with me. We also do not game together anymore, because I never have the time, and he got bored of the game we used to play. He has been trying to get me to start a new one, offering to teach me, and frequently asking when I will start. It seems that our conversations now revolve only on this. I would say hello, amd he would ask me if i could go game with him or something. Sometimes I would reply to him and he would just read it. It seems like he is trying to avoid speaking to me, like he is ignoring me, too.
This has been really annoying and has bothered me a lot. I have went to many websites to look for answers, but I have not found any at all. I feel like I am losing focus in my studies because of him, and I would like to confirm his feelings towards me so I won’t have to think too much about it, and so my academic performance would not decline.
Does he like me? Did he ever? Did he think of me as only a gaming buddy start? Why is he acting so ignorant? Please give my your insight about this. :)
StefanieHi Grace… running a relationship of any kind completely online can lead to things like this happening. You think you’ve developed feelings for “him” – but you don’t really know him! The online world and the offline world are entirely different. This is why, if you do online dating when you get older, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time chatting with someone in the cyberworld or on the phone before you meet them. It raises expectations that a lot of the time aren’t met because they weren’t real.
Those small things he said you took as signs he liked you… that’s another thing to learn to avoid too. Just because a guy says something in passing doesn’t make it ironclad true for all time. You want to watch a guy’s ACTIONS.
Sounds like he does think of you as a gaming buddy and it’s not going any further. So here’s another big lesson – NEVER invest in a man emotionally until you see he has done it first and never invest more than he does. You’re way in over your head here. This shouldn’t affect your studies! Can you go spend time with people in the flesh and let this one fade away?
best, Stefanie
GraceThank you for your reply, Stefanie! I believe that the part of me interacting with him was too hopeful and naive. Seeing as you’ve confirmed that he only thinks of me as a friend and nothing more, I would have no problem letting go. Thanks once again!
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