I love him and I don't know what to do

Thanks for replying. It just upsets me that not only my parents but my brother is saying the same thing. On top of that, my brother saw me hugging a guy who was younger and said I was flirting with under age boys. He was a FRIEND people. The fact that he accused me of flirting with underage boys makes me sick to the stomach. What the hell?

They said this morning that if I don’t cut ties with him, they’ll kick me out. I have a job so that’s not a problem but ‘kicking me out’ also means cutting ties with me. They are basically saying choose them or I’ll disown you.

They also said that he went to college and not university that he’s not good enough for me and that if I were to leave, they don’t care what happens to me in the future. If I were to go through a break up, divorce, need help with kids, get raped or murdered, they don’t care.

They’ve not met him, they don’t know him. But they’ve made up their minds that he’s the ‘bad guy’. Said that I don’t know him well enough, that he could be lying about his job, his background, his family basically doubting him for everything. Having no respect for him at all… all based on the fact that he went to college and works in a manufacturing site.

I took your advice and stood up for myself and they said ‘sure, but we’ll never speak to you again and need to leave within 3 months’. And that they will never ever respect him.

They said that I’m something wrong and that they are helping me. What did I do wrong apart from got a boyfriend and fell in love, anybody here think this is crazy?

I cAn tell you that this is going to be an uphill battle. Your story sounds almost exact to what mine was at the exact age you are. Even my sister was wrangled in to encourage me to break up as I was “ruining the family” by dating my bf. I ended up marrying this man, and as we grew older I could see where the differences in background impacted us. As I worked hard to contribute more than 1/2 the income he was limited in his career aspirations. We struggled so much financially and I could see our different backgrounds with education contributed to different values with raising our children. I wish you the best as I know this is so stressful and not particularly easy to set boundaries at the age you are.

Your parents want what they think is best for you. Unfortunately, this is not a healthy way of showing that they care. They can’t force you to do anything and the more that they do, the more you will resist.

First of all, half a year is a very short time to claim that you’re “in love”, maybe it’s more of an infatuation because you really don’t know someone until you’ve known them for at least a year.

Second of all, education level is not as important as whether or not he can provide for you. Will he able to financially support the entire family with this manufacturing job? If you make more money than him in the future, will you feel resentful for being the breadwinner? How are your compatibility in regards to religious, political, or other important values? A lot of things to think about before you tell your parents off and dismiss them forever.

I’m only saying this because when I was your age, I thought I was madly in love with all of my ex-boyfriends. My dad would warn me about them just based off of what I tell him and I thought it was unfair. But hindsight 20/20, my dad was right about some of the things and I’m grateful that I didn’t end up marrying any of them. Just be calm and tell your dad that you respect his input but that you’d like some time to get to know this guy more before you make a rash decision.