I Love you but I can't be with you

More than that, the way he’s handled this, I’d consider it as him showing you that you’re better off choosing to move on even if he does come back. His relationship communication skills and conflict resolution skills are terrible. Him never actually saying he loves you after 18 months, then texting that along with a breakup message without ever actually talking to you about him experiencing issues in your relationship, again after 18 months, screams emotional unavailability. Immaturity, too… that’s not a respectful way to treat a long-term partner in your 40s. But it’s also not unheard of for someone who started dating seriously too soon after a divorce.

The reason I think he said love now is the fear and pressure he put on *himself* in the relationship is relieved if you’re broken up, so it’s “safer” to say. Plus, he felt guilty about handling it in such a cowardly way (text), which he chose to avoid conflict and dealing with the consequences directly, so he said it to soften the blow or maybe as his last opportunity. I can’t read his mind so don’t know for sure, but that’s what my experience has been with people who get involved when they’re not emotionally ready.

I’m sorry you’re hurting and things turned out this way, but I think you’re doing the right thing staying in no contact. Focus on your healing, not the words he texted. You didn’t do anything to cause him to handle his issues in this way, that was his unresolved baggage he brought in to begin with.

I think his kids and ex keep getting in his way, so he may feel like he cannot commit to a relationship this good while they need him at the same time. Real life doesn’t work like the movies, and it takes a tough skinned person to take in all that drama. He’s being kind of immature by not communicating these things clearly with you, but it’s very clear this is what is going on, and that he’s afraid of commitment at the time being due to his former family and other messy things that happen due to a divorce.

Red flags: no I love you in 18 months. Words and actions, and trust whichever is less committed every time.

I am so sorry, huge hugs. You stay strong sister and his blocking you is a huge man child move.

Oh I absolutely know actions speak louder than words, and he has chosen his actions in this case.

That could be why he blocked me, ill try not to think about that too much .

Thank you for the hugs, they are needed!

Stacey I admire the way you handled this. you didn’t ask for explanation nor heated up his phone with I want you back texts and calls. you simply went silent to understand just what happened. not only did he break off things with a measly text, he then blocked you despite you not hassling him about the breakup. just goes to show what an a*** he is and so immature. what was the need to block? i think maybe he blocked you because you simply took him at his word and stayed silent. he was probably expecting you to text and seek explanations etc. but you did neither. I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling and also confounded at the turn of events. but his behavior shows that you are probably better off without such a man. as one of the posters said, even I feel there is a possibility that he will turn up. do not let such a man reenter your life. sending lots of love, hugs and strength your way. proud of the way you handled this situation.

Yes it will get better for sure. You come across as pretty level headed and patient. Take it each day at a time. Take up activities which keep u occupied. Catch up on that web series which you wanted to see. Meet frnds and family. Its been 10 days. Soon you will be over the worst. Take care and stay strng..