I REALLY like this man but he just doesn’t text me

Don’t sit around on stand by, please keep dating and meeting people. He clearly has checked out.I agree you are far too invested in someone who isn’t your boyfriend.

I’m coming to this thread way late, but agree with what everyone is saying. If you’re anxious and not sure where you stand when you’ve been dating a guy 6-8 weeks, and have already slept with him….and he’s going silent on you, making excuses (of course it’s sad someone died, but it’s still an excuse– if a guy is really into you, he’s still capable of texting you to maintain the connection, rather than going radio silent for a week), saying he’s “not sure how this will affect our budding relationship”…..the dude has checked out. A guy who wants to date you will do none of that. Even if he had a death of someone close to him, he would at least communicate, and not leave you anxious and wondering.

Remember, a guy who is interested in you does not want you losing interest in him and dating other guys! So he will do whatever he can to maintain your interest. This guy can take you or leave you, it sounds like. He might want to keep you on the hook to sleep with you again, but he’s not trying to build a connection with you. Which means he’s not that interested.

The bottom line is that when you use the daily life (work schedule, stress, and yes, even the passing of a relative) of a man who presents himself as available to you to explain away his absence and poor communication, you are the one putting on blinders. These things can explain temporary bumps, not the overall theme. What you are experiencing is an overall theme.

It’s not a nice feeling to realize this. It may feel better in the short-term to analyze over and over in your head why all the excuses are valid, but it’s not. Trust me. I was the queen of rationalization for a while. I didn’t use to be that way, but I was also in a similar situation to yours where I hadn’t dated for awhile and a guy came along who knocked my socks off. How I wish I would have just acknowledged at the time that sure, he liked me, but not enough and not in the way I was looking for. By not doing that I set a precedent for myself to hang on and hold out hope. I wasted so much time basically torturing myself over all the ifs, ands, and buts for why guys faded out. I pretty much compiled court worthy cases in my mind for why they really did like me. The worst part was I knew the truth, but didn’t want to face it.
While it was true those guys weren’t interested in pursuing anything long term, the actual and meaningful truth was that somewhere along the line I had lost myself.

I took a break for about a year and just lived my life. I’m not sure what kicked in during that time off other than maybe it finally clicked how much cringe worthy nonsense I had created for myself. It was during this time I met a man (in person) who came into my work and started flirting with me. I had the attitude of this being nice, but if he disappeared as fast as he came I’d still be just fine. This does translate. It’s a vibe you give off. It doesn’t mean you act disinterested. It means you maintain you are your own person – no matter what a guy throws your way – be it good or bad. It’s been two years now and still feel that if things would go south it would definitely hurt, but that it was a wonderful experience I learned so much from.

Find yourself and be your own person. If this guy pops back in you will be in a much better place to evaluate, without doubt or neediness, what he brings to the relationship table.

You had heard from him for a week due to the bereavement. I would let him go. He is either self absorbed or just taking you on a ride.

*had not

Meetin just twice a month?? How far do u guys stay away from each other?

But men never make the effort I hear women speak of. In my whole 10 years of dating, I have not been pursued once. Makes me a bit sad, but this is the most I’ve ever had in terms of pursuing.

We are long distance, 1.5 hours apart. I work in the week and then might have family plans on the weekend. Hence once every 2 weeks. I don’t know how else we can do it other than the way we are doing it.

If a man has never pursued me properly in my life, does that mean I’m not desirable. I am starting to worry now

I too thought the guys who put in effort were a myth at first. I was always the one calling, making plans, etc. Once I started focusing on myself and finding what my standards were along with being more confident in myself I found that I wasn’t attracted to men who weren’t putting in the same effort as me. Once I had a man say I was a b*tch for asking so many questions prior to having sex and for not liking the standards I set. That was a him problem. I learned to give back the same energy I was getting and in the same tone.

My boyfriend lives 2hrs away. I’ve seen him every weekend for the past 3 months or more. He calls almost every night, texts me often, and makes plans for us including going to places we’ve never been or just chill nights in front of the TV. An hour and a half is not that far away. It’s the exact opposite of the men I used to attract. Once I found my self-worth and set my standards, it weeded out the men who weren’t worth my time.

Nothing is wrong with you. And a man doesn’t define your value or desirability.

Gaia says, “A man doesn’t define your value or desirability.“
Amen Sister!

I have had a similiar situation with you Laura with him ‘liking’ me but i only receive one text a day, that i initiate. Something im not used to, and i just overall dont like how it makes me feel. Its only been two weeks of getting to know eachother, but just the fact of how it makes me feel im ending the situationship. If it made me feel this faded imagine anything else i would loose myself and im too selfish. Reading this page made me feel sad for you but i do believe the other girls have a really good point, that hopefully you have worked out by now. Stay strong
Girl power!