Home › Forums › Texting Advice › i texted happy birthday and he did not even say thanks
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Jade.
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anna
Hello, everyone! I feel hurt and confused…
I had been dating this guy for one and a half year, it never went very serious, I know he has some sort of commitment issues, he is 34 and never had a long term relationship that lasted more than 3 months.
he was very sweet with me and i had some feelings for him ,however I did not let my self go with him , because even though we live really close , we would only see each other every two or even three weeks.Last summer we went on vacation together for 10 days and spent all this time spent some weekends together, other than that it was always a sunday thing.
i had very calmly and rationally told him that because i am a monogamous person , i would like to spend some more time with him, so we could enjoy each other more for as long as it would last. His response was that he is a weird person, one day he wakes up happy and another not so he doesnt know what he wants, He would text a bit more during the week after that, I respected his bounderies and i would text him once a week and he would too. So it went on like this for a few more months.then he kind of disappeared for a couple of months so decided to just let it go, since it wasn’t progressing anyway. And then he sent me flowers for my Bd. I felt really happy so we arranged to meet and when I finally got the nerve to ask him why he had disappeared and why he sent me flowers…he told me he understands I have all the right to want something more after all this time and that he sent the flowers because he had to and that he didn’t know what else to say.
So a few more months passed and one day as we were texting back and forth and he was saying how he wants to do this and that to me , I told him that since we are both free AND not seeing other people, It is just stupid not to just do it.
I told him that as a woman I need some kind of passion, that I can’t settle for crums and that I want hugs and kisses. That he should find a woman that he will want to see more ,because I know he needs hugs and kisses too.and I wished him all the best…
His reply was that he won’t , because he can’t fall in love and he wished me all the best too and kisses.
A week later he calls me and wants to have a drink, so as you understand I thought that he had something to tell me… he also sent a second text asking if he could sleep over my house, because of some lame reason…I agreed to both. He didnt have to say anything about anything and said that if I didn’t want to have adrink, I shouldn’t have agreed.I again felt stupid but went on with it even though I told him that I felt like he tricked me . I did have sex with him ,as I told him Ithought it would be stupid to pretend I didn’t want toor play games since we right there…
A couple months passed where he was again kind of more attentive, so I thought I was to give ONE last chance since i understand some of his issues…
40 days ago, after him not contacting me for 10 days , he called and I did not answer…It hurt but I didn’t answer…I also hurt for him because besides all that he is not abad guy . HE CALLED LIKE 5 times and sent amessage if I am ok. I answered the next saying ‘i m ok’ he said’ I don’t think so’ HE called again and again he said’ tell me what is going on’
I sent him a text saying that I have nothing to tell him that I haven’t already , Thats why I don’t feel Like talking,I DONT have the spirit anymore to respond to this Whatever, Whenever.THAT after all this Time we should both feel good with what we are doing IN ORDER TO PRESERVE IT, and that I am not mad at him and that I want him to be well …. and I really meant it
HE texted after 3 days saying it took him this long because he didn’t know what to say that he is not good at at …that he understands ,that he has troubled me enough with his weirdness and his inconsistency and he wants me to be well too.THEN he went on mentioning some things that we didnt get to do together and bla blah and that he didn’t do much while we were together so at least I hope I made you laugh with my message.
And that was it!! This all happened 40 DAYS ago and today was his Birthday and I SENT HIM A nice plain message saying “I wish you many and good years:)
and he did not answer…..
I FEEL VERY UPSET and I dont know since it was all in good terms why he would not answer not even a plain thanks
THANK you for listening iwould appreciate some feedbackpatsytshirt
he said to you early on that “he is a weird person, one day he wakes up happy and another not so he doesnt know what he wants”. I think that’s enough reason to not get surprised if he doesn’t reply your bday wishes, right? you might really like this guy to put up with so much BS. I honestly think you should let him go, you know him for a long time and this is going nowhere. You said you won’t settle for crumbs but you already did, should have cut him off long time ago and find someone better.
anna
Thank you for your feedback,patsyshirt,
You are right I should have let it go along time ago, but as he was so sweet with me ,it confused me and I just hoped.
I feel upset because I was doing really well after the ‘breakup’ i felt strong and hopefully for the future, but with him not even saying thanks I just feel that I handed him some of my strenght back. But it would not feel right if I didn’t wish him HB. Ddo you think that he might think that I sent the message bc I want to test the waters?Abdelyllah Bouchouicha
Anna, sorry for late reply ! but all I can say :
Dont trust too much
Dont love too much
Dont care too much
because that ‘too much’ will hurt you so much
At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart , but not in your life, and sometimes it’s better to be alone nobody can hurt you.Bob Marley said :“You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter (shade) when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that’s why I’m scared when you say you love me.”
Paige
Is it really that hard to leave the guy alone?
alia
Did you not send the message because you wanted to test the waters? You broke up with him, however undefined your relationship was. Let him be and keep busy with your own stuff.
Raven
This is an old post…
Abdelyllah Bouchouicha is poeticisizing old posts … Most likely to be followed up with a sales pitch of some sort…
sona
That person is not honest with you. He is not good. He just be with you whenever he is free.
Ditch him. I know you love him but he does not love you.gamer22
so I though this guy liked me, and I was okay with him. We are really good friends, and good facebook friends. We are in a youth group together, and i guess i like him a little, but i tried to stay cool about it, and not go overboard so i messaged him a happy birthday, and all he said was , k cool. he didn’t say thanks but i also said that i was out of data, and he replied to that part, and he didn’t like any of my facebook posts since then, which was only since yesterday night. Am i overreacting or what?
Jamie
Gamer22, he doesn’t sound all that interested to me, except for the fact that you are dealing with younger boys and it can be harder to tell. But if someone you liked texted you, wouldn’t you respond with something that would keep the conversation going? Someone responding K cool, to a birthday message seems like someone trying to blow you off. Also, if you’re relying on his “likes’ on Facebook to gauge his interest level, that means he’s not interested. An interested guy would make it so obvious you wouldn’t have to analyze his Facebook likes. Sorry.
gamer22
thanks Jamie! he actually did make the first move, and he did comment on something of mine once i said thanks and he said yup any time, also he said “let me know when the concerts start and ill come”, also he did pull some pranks on us at the cabin, and he is really nice and makes eye contact in person, and a lot of other obvious signs, even “grooming” himself, just that was the first thing he did.(and a bunch of other signs. (also i wasn’t really messaging him because i like him, well kind of , but i tried to be nice and genuine ) What do you think bout this now? sorry i left all of this out. He is normally really nice to me in person, and sent those kind of signals, and he does tease me sometimes too. just the k cool thing was the first thing that he ever did that sent that message, but also is he trying to play it cool, or what ?
gamer22
and how did you know he was younger?? that is really shocking. i didn’t say anything about him being younger, do you know me or something? lol
Jamie
LOL don’t be paranoid, no, I don’t know you, I didn’t mean younger than you, I meant “younger” because you said you knew him from Youth Group. So it’s safe to assume that he’s not a grown man.
Yes, it does sound like he may be interested. This is why it’s hard to tell with younger guys. Men behave a certain way with women…usually it’s very easy to tell an uninterested guy from an interested one. However, with a teenager who may not be experience and not confident, it’s a whole kettle of fish. He may act differently.
I wouldn’t worry about the lack of Facebook likes over a two day period. It is the holidays; perhaps he is busy. He may also have been busy when you texted with friends. Just stay patient, and be friendly when he reaches out.
gamer22
okay thanks!! there were a bunch of things like my pants said justice, and he said justice , and also I was sitting then it was one of the twins and then he was sitting, and he leaned forward, looked over at me and smiled. and when I walked by him, he said youre good and gave me a smile, What does that mean?
Gamer22
okay Jamie bad news, a new problem, please get back to me at your earliest convenicence.
:( :( :( :(
Gamer22
or if anyone would like to give me advice, I could really use someone to talk to right now about this! Thanks!!
Jamie
What is the problem?
Gamer22
okay so zebra (that’s his code name) and jeriah were talking and I think they were talking about jeriah going for me and zebra will go for my sister, but Jordan told jeriah that I liked him for me , through text, but I don’t know if I like him like that, an he liked 10 of her posts, and was talking with her in the comments, and I was starting to like him, just like Jordan. he only liked one of my posts, so what should I do? I think jeriah might try for me but I don’t know if I like him like that, and ive been liking zebra, he’s been nice to me, or like a friend and I could tell he liked me, and even if he did like her, I think he’s easing off on me. Im not 100% sure though, and I kinda like zebra, what should I do about that?
Gamer22
like zebra was the one that was liking all of her posts, and talking with her in the comments, and im starting to get kinda angry, cause my sister has anger issues, and doesn’t deserve it, I think, she not a total monster, but a huge brat sometimes, that’s what makes me mad, but what makes me upset is the fact that zebra stopped treating me with equal attention, he is also my inspiration, so I have my crush going for my sister, and a guy that I thinks I like him trying for me when I don’t really like him like that , at least not anymore..
gamer 22
hello, anyone im feeling really discouraged, he didn’t like any of my posts within two days except for one.. that’s not like him, whats going on? any help ? he never went one day without liking at least one of my posts.. :(
Jamie
I think you need to take it all off Facebook. Are you off for the Christmas holidays? Maybe you can organize some sort of gathering for you and your friends and invite him along. That way you can spend some time getting to know him and talking to him in person rather than having go betweens or Facebook or overheard conversations.
Gamer22
well we are not that good of friends but they is a new years eve party on the 30th or 31st. how should I react to him now that he did this?
gamer22
and I didn’t even do anything worng, I never went overboard, was never mean, shy, (overly) creepy, or anything ? like why
Deadpool
Hey I know how you feel I’m kinda going through the same situation. I just wait and hope for the best, and think positive! If you think it is worth the chance then hell go for it! Otherwise this ocean is huge, take another swim in it and see what fish you catch!
-Merc With A Mouth
DeadpoolGamer22
okay, right now my situation is better, how is yours?
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