I think I want to be single for the rest of my life but I feel I missing out

Hi everyone,

I was in a committed relationship but wasn’t married for 10 years. I broke up with him in 2011. Ever since then I’ve dated guys for a short period and I friend zone them, they are all nice guys, but I just cant seem to commit to them.

I’ve had FWBs too but when it gets too complicated and serious, I run away. I’ve been single for 5 years now and come to a point where I just want to be single for the rest of my life…life is so much easier, cos no one can hurt you…at the same time I feel lonely.

The problem is I feel I’m missing out on a family. There would be times when I feel maybe if I had kids, I would feel complete, but many people say to never have kids to fill a void. I don’t think I can handle the pressure of looking after another human being but at the same time, I love caring and nurturing people as I’m a carer for old people.

I went online dating but after a coffee date, I let them know I’m not interested. Whenever I see a family, I get jealous and I tend to say to myself, no family’s perfect. I tend to still feel jealous of people who have a family of their own but at the same time, I get scared of commitment.

I come from a culture where marriage and kids are everything so my parents want me to start a family of my own…Im not gonna be with a guy to fill a void just because of family pressure.

My counsellor told me to take a risk. I try but dating guys without commitment is as far as I can go.

Does anyone feel like this and how do stop being so apprehensive?

Thanks