I Walked Away and I’m Regretting

I was seeing somethijg for a couple months. It was electric, like I cant even explain how absolutely incredible it was, like a whirlwind. It was intense and I truly though he felt the same.

We hadn’t had the talk just yet but I was going to the day this happened actually. His actions up until last Thursday were something a boyfriend would do. I didn’t have any doubts that this was where we were heading.

Thursday night, I see him at his house and we go for dinner. Incredible night as usual and then he was pretty much MIA on Friday. No good morning messages, no messages at all. This was not like him at all and I got nervous. Saturday, same thing, silent. In the late afternoon I messaged to say hello and hoped hisnweekend was good and onky at this time did he tell me that he couldn’t meet up for our walk later because his daughters wanted to watch a movie. No big deal. But wondered when he would have told me this, ifnst all. If he had to reschedule somethijg with me, he let me know, I didn’t have to message to pull this out of him. I said that was fine, maybe next week and asked if we could talk later once his daughters were asleep. No response the rest of the night or all day Sunday. Completely out of character. Something was up for sure and it wasn’t my imagination.

Sunday evening I sent a message. Not judging or mean, just said hey, I dont want to assume anything but I’ve sensed some distance for the last few days and I know you’ve had a stressful week and im here for support. But its felt kinda s***y on my end here and I wanted to reach out since communication is important to me.

I got a message back. I knew it wasn’t goijg to be good and it wasn’t.

He said that his feelings for me are still the same, apologized for being distant but that he was introduced to someone and it made him think that he wanted to explore other relationships. He then said he met someone at a park and didn’t think he saw it going anywhere with her but still felt he cant commit anyways. Also said he still wanted to be with me but just date others too but with me knowing instead of behind my back

I was crushed. At first I wasn’t sending emotionally charged messages at all I said I wss disappointed tthat a random stranger made him want to throw me away so easily, which is when he said he didn’t want to change things with me, just not be exclusive to me. Said he enjoyed time with me and wanted to continue. I said I cant do that. I need to be the only woman in someone’s life.

He said he respected my decision but then said he felt that it was ME that was throwing it away. Thats when things got emotional for me and I did send angry (not abusive or insulting) messages that it wasn’t fair to be tossed aside for a random and that I couldn’t have meant much to him at any point this entire time. But at the end of the day I wasn’t goijg to tolerate sleeping with him on Monday and he’s having other women over the rest of the week, that to me, I woukd feel awful knowing it couldn’t just be me. I told him I was dropping off his things, which I did do immediately. I had obviously been crying and he saw this and tried to apologize but I walked away

His last message to me was that maybe I wont be as upset or angry about it in the morning. It was 11 pm and I had half a bottle of wine and I sent 4 responses back. Not paragraphs though. I said that um yeah, I was going to stikk be angry tomorrow, why wouldn’t I be after being told im not enough for someone and all it took was for a stranger to say hi in a park for him to. And another one saying that I didn’t want to be with someone who felt that I meant less than a random stranger. He didn’t respond after that I stupidly sent a message in the morning, but a calm one. Said I had some wine the previous night and meant what I said about feeling sad but that I stuck by my principle and that I was sorry he couldn’t choose me and felt the need to go after others. I also let him know that in the interest of healing, I felt it was necessary for me to delete him from social media No response.

That was Monday morning. I havent messaged and neither has he. Its been 4 days. I am seriously struggling. I want him to come crawling back and am trying to keep my hands away from my phone. I am sitting here upset and he probably doesn’t remember my name already.

Just wish none of this had happened and I do wish I wasn’t so emotional messaging back. Or would it have even mattered. I dont know