Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I want him back but can’t build up the courage
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Ems
So my ex and I have been break up for nearly a month now.
We had very nasty break up mainly due to the things I said.
I was really upset with him and for a 3 weeks we just argued.
He didn’t want to break up but I insisted I didn’t want I to be with him in the end he is okay and never spoke to me since the 7th of this months.I did one point try to chat to him lightly but it didn’t go far, although he replied he didn’t say much which seemed he didn’t want to continue talking to me. It was evidential he has let it go.
So, I want to approach him one more time but I am so fearful of rejection, embarrassed, him thinking of me as weak.
I was wondering, if you lovely ladies ever asked an ex and what were the negatives and positives?
I want to start this new year with him.
Apart from our nasty break up we were actually good and he is someone I see myself with and I do love him very much.Liv
Write to him something like that:
i understand what went wrong … i also understand my part in that and i’m willing to work on that, i’m willing to take control of that because you deserve better from me in that respect and i wanna be better.
So… with that in mind…look… if you genuinely don’t wanna give it another try, if u’ve really given up on us, there’s really nothing i can do about that, cause i can’t fight for someone who’s already given up… but if ur moving on part is based on those issues from the past (which i’m aware of!) and that u believe there’s no way we could make progress there, i’m here to tell u that’s not true… cause im willing to work on those, (and i’m sure u could too…) because i believe it’s all worth it! That’s what i truly believe!… but If that’s not enough for u, then u made the right choice and it’s the right thing to do…because ure showing ure not willing to fight for us and regardless of the things we both might need to work on, i don’t wanna do this for someone who doesn’t wanna fight for me/us… because i also deserve more. But….if u can accept the fact that i’m also just a human who made mistakes and that i do really care about this… and i’m willing to change and evolve… then i really need u to tell me that before i also move on with my lifeLiz Lemon
Why did you break up? What were the nasty things you said?
You have glossed over the most important part of all this. Unless you resolve the issue that caused they breakup, it will not work out.
I understand it’s the holidays, you want to have the new year with him, etc. So it’s a really hard time of year to end a relationship. But you should be realistic, don’t just focus on your desire to have him back, think about the reason for the breakup and how it can be resolved so you can move forward. Only then can you talk to him honestly about it (and you have to accept the possibility that he might not want to get back together).
Honeypie
No disrespect to Liv but is think long and hard about sending something at this point written like that. You don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling.
I think we need to know more before advising. Liz’s questions around that would be handy to know the answers of
Newbie
Why do you want to get back with him? I looked up your old post so then i remembered you broke it off after he didnt say he loves you back. Several of the posters told you you have poor communication skills and reaction on impulse. I i get your timeline right you were still sort of trying in october and in november you started to pick fights wit him again and broke it off again. And now you want him back again.
I dont see this going anywhere since you dont feel secure with each other so you dont have a real partnership. In the previous post you even called him fake and shallow etc. And now you say you had a good thing going. I dont know what to make of your jojo relationship. Either you are picking fights and chose to break up and get back on an impulse or he is not that committed and you are feeling that. Or both. But whatever the reason nothing has changed. Neither one of you has learned anything you want to do different. Even worse, you are in complete denial about the relationship as a whole. As liz lemmon said, that will never work. Sometimes its good to use the new year for something new -
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