I Want to be exclusive, but he doesn't..

So hi,

Im typing this because i dont know what else to do. Im in love with a guy ive been seeing for two and a half month now.

He did the courtship, and i fell hard for him. We have a connection, i feel at home when im with him, i feel good, i feel happy, i feel in love. But there are two things that really are bothering me. The fact that he cant seem to get over his ex and since a few weeks has contact with her, even though she has a new boyfriend. He has as the book says allot of emotional baggage but im willing to take it easy and time on this one.

He told me personal stuff about his life, family, about his character. We understand eachother. And most of the time he always contacts me. He makes me laugh, and we rally have such a good time together.

Second of all he’s also seeing somebody else. He started dating her before he and i met eachother, and i didn’t know of her existense till a few weeks back. I had trouble with somebody else also in the picture, it tore me apart, and i felt sick to my stomack. And even ended the ‘relatonhip’ of whatever you call it, dating, a few times because it isn’t what i want, i want to be exclusive, choose eachother, not with other people around, waiting for him to choose me, and i really want to be exclusive with him, i actually could care less about other boys, even though ive got a few men who want to date me, i went on a date a few weeks ago when we where not seeing eachother, it was fun though, but i still was in love with ‘thé’ current guy.

But everytime i dont want contact anymore, because he went on a date with that other woman again, or stop initiating contact so i can move on, he pops up again, calling me, sending text messages. I jokingly said, wow you just cant do without me, and his answers, yes you are right, and you know this! It makes me happy for a bit, but i really would i could see it more in his actions.

Two weeks ago we started dating again, and it felt like YES! No where talking! Let get this show on the road. We had a date at his place, and had so much fun, the day after we got to a café where i met some of his friends, had such a good time, looking like we where a couple, giving eachother cute bites of our meals. I went home, and he went off with his friends to go to another few bars. Like before he always comes at my place when he’s done clubbing, this time it was very late. And he still wasn’t home. I found out, that the other girl he was seeing, and said to me that it wasn’t going to work out between them, had stayed during that night. I was furious, i didnt sleep the whole night. I said to him dont contact me anymore, and what do you know bleep bleep, he just keeps sending messages, like the whole even didnt took place.

We had a talk a few times. Because i didnt want to go any further in this nomansland if he didn’t want to be exclusive and stop seeing that other person. I told him i was in love with him, and care for him. His answer was, also cares for me, but sees me as a friend at this moment, but really love spending time with me and doesn’t want to lose me.

He’s such a funny, loving guy to be with, and of course he has his bad sides too, like any person in the world. I see him for what he is worth. Even though he tells me he is insecure, i see what beautiful man he is. How can i get him to see that im a catch, a prize. I really do try being a prize like the book says though. And he does know that there are also other men interested.

When im upset en decided that im not going to get through this anymore, i really mean it. I can live without him, i’ll miss him though, it isnt easy because i have al those feelings and am in love with him, i cán walk away. But everytime i do this and make my point, he pops right up, sending me messages, and everytime i think he really wants me, lets try again, it’s just goes round in circle and continuing also dating that other girl and talking to her like he does with me, yes i looked in his phone after a party at his house, i was furious, because he said the same things to her, and to me, blegh i feel sick to my stomack again.

Does anyone has any advice for me, because im not handle-ing it like you should anymore, my school, work and personal life are suffering because of this, because my focus always turns to him nowadays. Even when i know that you yourself have to be whole before entering a relationship.

Thanks so much for your help…