Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I want to say goodbye. Advice please!
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by
Liz Lemon.
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Mandy
Had a sporadic but intense FWB for 2 years. Did not meet often but when we did it was fireworks. Always knew we were not going to be together and that ultimately he was looking to settle and start a family. He always treated me with respect.
I normally contacted him but after a break of two months he texted me telling me he was seeing someone but it was not serious and he still wanted to meet me. We started to arrange a night together with flirty texts and talking about what we were going to do. I was so excited and looking forward to it. He then cancelled the following day saying he was away for the whole weekend. I felt so disappointed and deflated and did not want to say something I regretted so I just did not reply and blocked. I think he was probably looking for a last bit of fun before he got serious with this woman.I now wish I had said something nice and wished him well. Should I do this now after 3 weeks. I think he will think I am petty for ignoring him and I would hate him to think I was ill mannered as he was always so upfront with me. Am I just wanting to continue the contact? Should I just keep quiet or send a little text wishing him well or would that look a bit weird now? He is now off dating apps and clearly in a relationship.
I genuinely don’t want relationship with him but we had a great time, he did mean something to me and I would like it to have ended differently.
Raven
Leave him be…
Seriously, how great can he be to be planning to get with this new girl, but wanting one last hurrah with you?!
Yuck
Maddie
If he’s newly committed to someone else, now is not the time. I understand the thought, but it’s just introducing drama. If you run into him one day or they break up and you still want to say something about it, by all means go for it. But for now respect the boundaries of him being in a relationship. That’s the kindest way to wish him well.
tammy
i agree with the above posters. you guys were never serious. but then he found someone and is in a relationship. which means your arrangement is over. let it be. in case you do ever run into him, be frndly and polite. this is over. let it go.
Mandy
I can see people have kindly responded but l can’t read the comments. Anyone know why?
Eve
Probably best left as it is but don’t really see the harm in sending one final message if you think it will make you feel better
Liz Lemon
From what you’ve written, you have no idea if he’s gotten serious with this other woman. On the contrary, he told you outright he wasn’t serious about her. Maybe he did get serious, but maybe he didnt. So who knows what’s going on with him.
I also agree with Raven’s point that it’s scummy to plan to hook up with a FWB if you’re planning to get serious about another woman. A guy that had real romantic feelings for a woman he was dating wouldn’t want to hook up with a FWB. That’s why I doubt he actually got serious about her (but if he did, yuck that he considered a hookup right before).
The issue I see is that he canceled plans on you. If he was “away for the whole weekend”, why make plans with you the night before? So I don’t think he was ever serious about seeing you.
There’s nothing to be gained by reaching out and wishing him well. If he is in fact in a committed relationship, then the best thing to do is respect his relationship & leave him alone.
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