Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › I was ghosted??
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by T from NY.
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anna
So I recently started to get back in the dating scene. I’m at home for the summer so I downloaded tinder, since i wouldn’t have much luck meeting people in person like I would at college. For the first two weeks I didn’t really meet anyone I was vibing with. Then I met someone who had superliked me, he was only a year older, he went to the same college, and he had the same major. I was so excited that he seemed to match what I wanted. We quickly moved to snapchat and we were still getting along great. Then he gave me his number and we started to text more. He wanted to take me out on a date but I left for disney world with my family the next day so I declined. He worked at disney for a year so we excitedly were talking about that. About halfway through thr trip, his texts start getting shorter, unless he was sexually flirting with me. But normal convos were getting very far and few inbetween. While on vacay with my family I wasn’t texting as much, bc my family was my priority, as well as me enjoying my time at disney. The day I came back from vacation, he hadn’t answered my text for over a day. I assumed he had ghosted me, so I texted him to confront him about it. He told me he was upset that I hadn’t texted him as much as I did before the trip and he felt like I was losing interest and wasn’t going to text me until I figured things out. Did I catch him in the act of ghosting me? I’m so confused because we seemed to click very well and I don’t understand what I did for him to ghost me.
RavenYou’ve not been ghosted, you don’t even know this guy…
MaddieHe sounds insecure to me. He over-analyzed your behavior, took it in the most negative light, and wanted to mirror you so he could avoid feeling rejected. You haven’t even met yet and he’s playing games… move on to someone more mature.
ErinJust arrange a meet up honestly, that’s the pitfall of texting, a lot of misread signals, guesswork on what the other person is thinking or doing and it’s often wrong most of the time. You never really know until you meet them.
Just tell him “Hey sorry I was on vacation with my family and I wasn’t texting much.I’m back and I would like to take you up on your offer to meet. What’s a good day to meet or how about on.. ”
If he doesn’t come through then maybe he wasn’t that interested, he changed his mind, whatever, that’s his issue and not yours. You just move on to the next one
Also, guys who only get animated and more enthusiastic when the texts are sexual but fall short when it comes to normal texting are usually just looking for sex. I don’t know if that’s what you want ultimately?
tammyjust first meet casually and then see how things go.
TallspicyNo, no no. You are a mess, he is a mess. And this is not ghosting.
His mess: He is upset you communicated less with a total stranger while you were on a vacation that you explained. This is a HARD PASS of a trait. You are not missing anything and be glad he is gone.
Your mess: You confronted him? You never even dated. You are very overinvested in mindset of dating. Firstly, relationship should not have confrontation – it is a very damaging approach. Secondly, it sets up confrontation – which never ends in a positive resolution to a challenge.
T from NYExactly no you were not ghosted. Men come and go. The Reid ones most of all. You’ll know the dude for you because he won’t go poof or crumb off
T from NY** The tepid ones most of all!
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