I was the disaster on this date.

I don’t understand your question? It’s fine to leave a date if the guy was making you uncomfortable. You say you got bad vibes and he accused you of having an “attitude” so why stay? If you disliked him and felt “relieved” after leaving then you obviously did the right thing.

sometimes people just don’t get along period. u guys don’t. and so you cut the evening short. that’s wise. don’t waste time brooding about it.

but yes the fact that you didn’t remember anything about him yet chose to go and meet him gives the impression that you met him very casually and just to fill an idle evening regardless of the person who your meeting. i think even i would have felt a little put off if the guy i met didn’t remember/know anything about me nor made any attempt to know even the basic details prior to meeting me.

Wow. I am so glad I posted this here I was actually going to send an apology text to him for making him feel bad by not remembering his details plus for leaving. Now I won’t. Maybe that is how i always get wound up with the wrong kind of guys because I just always keep thinking my own behavior isn’t appropriate. Being in abusive relationships really changes how you see and perceive things.
My question was basically regarding the fact is it really so bad to not remembers details about a guy. I mean it is not like I didn’t remember anything about him. But since I am talking to a lot of guys these days I don’t seem to remember work details and place of birth of everyone. I would rather remember those things that made a mark or made me connect with them etc. And when I see those guys in person, then obviously I start remembering everything about them. I even told him this, tat till I meet the person for real, I don’t get very involved. And tbh rest of my dates never really have a problem if I forget something about them and even I don’t make it a big deal that they don’t remember that I studied in the best law college or that my sister got married recently lol, I mean I can tell it again, there is no point in making someone you have just started meeting feel uncomfortable for forgetting some details about you. If I keep meeting them often and still see that they don’t remember what they have talked about with me then it might be a problem but definitely not on the first few dates.

Also, I keep posting about my new confusing dating experiences because I have been in only abusive and manipulative relationships all my life so I have no experience with screening quality guys. And I’d rather be alone than with the wrong kind of guy and waste more of my time. I am 26. I took a break from dating and worked on myself with a therapist but healing is a life long journey, so I feel great hearing from you, thanks :)

I think it’s a really bad sign about the guy if you forgot something once (as opposed to repeatedly after a few dates) and he makes a big deal out of it. Like, calling you out is okay if it’s a quick little good humored comment, being pissy about it is not. If he really is mad and it’s a first date, he can be polite on the rest of the date and then not ask you out again. But my experience with this was I mixed something up before even meeting a guy, and he got MAD and started accusing me of just talking to too many guys to keep them straight. That’s not even what was going on, but if it was… that’s none of his business and certainly nothing to be judgmental about at the start. It was very, very clear very quickly that he was suspicious of women, didn’t actually like them very much, and definitely didn’t trust or respect them! He was bitter, resentful, and insecure, and I never spoke to him again. So when I hear about a guy getting pissy right away over something minor or accidental, I think of something like that. If your instinct was bad vibes, listen to that instinct!

pissy*

Maddie- thanks for validating my gut instinct. After getting badly manipulated in my last relationship I thought I had lost my gut instinct and sense of perception but looks like I haven’t. :)