If a guy hasn't asked you to be his gf in 2 months should you stop seeing him?

was it “we aren’t in a relationship and that isn’t something I want” or
“we aren’t in a relationship YET,”

Big difference obviously. If it’s #1, move on, if it’s #2, cautiously give it a bit more time if you like (not more than a month or two i would say)

What’s the rush? You’re young, so play the field. You don’t need to stop seeing him just like that. When you’re sure of what you want, have a honest conversation. Feeling insecure is no point. I think NOW is the time for young women like you to start working on insecurities so that you will be happy in the right relationship down the road.

Are you starting to see each other more? Is he including you in his life I am introducing you to people? Does he talk about the future and actually put stuff on the calendar? If so give it one more month. If you’re only seeing him once a week, dump him. Men do what they want , They fall quickly, and generally they’re on their best behavior to start off with if they’re interested. No more than 12 weeks maximum. However, it is a yellow flag that he is not committed now.

@redcurleysue

where is the data for these claims?

While experience and common sense are the basis of my opinions, I also read a lot of advice on relationships from experts, such as;

From Psychology Today, “You are better off dating longer and seeing how someone chooses to grow rather than wishing and hoping, or trying to force someone to make the changes that you desire. The rule of thumb here is not to get engaged for at least six months, and to wait another year before getting married. It will be worth it. If you don’t think so, just ask someone you know who is in the process of a breakup.”

Slow down enough to truly see the person and if you are a good fit with them.

Since I do not know much of your history with this guy I am answering blind.

You and he are young to get serious…mostly men get more serious when their careers are figured out…about 25 or so.

You also said he was not seeing anyone else…but yet he is texting another girl. Hmmm…that would make me wonder how serious he is being with any girl right now.

If I were you…at your age…I would be focusing more on my education and career. Women need to have a way to make money no matter if they get married or not. You have many years ahead before you settle down and you need to also date lots and lots to fully understand what you want in a man…what works for you and what does not work for you.

I am curious as to what your dreams are? Travel? Writing? Music or singing? Being the best horsewoman? What are your dreams?

Sandy, you wrote: “he said he didn’t want to see other people but we aren’t in a relationship”

he told you you two are not in a relationship or you just assuming?

why he said this? who initiated this conversation?
its too early to define it by 2 months….

Oops, men who want to be boyfriends, act like boyfriends.

I’m not one to put a timeline or #of dates on dating before exclusivity, but I do agree from experience and going slow that around 4-6 months is generally when the man will know if he wants more. If you are the type of woman who already knows what she’s wanting and not wanting to play the field, you’ll be able set your pace on what you will tolerate and want from a relationship not just to have a man or a title.

That process takes time and lots of experience and dating, I didn’t’ have that when I was 21, but some women do. Always keep your options open and don’t settle. 2 months is not long, you will start seeing his real self after 3 months.

Go with the individual relationship. There’s a ton of crap advice out there. If you like the guy, keep seeing him. It takes a long time to get to know someone; two months isn’t much time IMO.

I do not agree that every good man, who would make a good boyfriend, locks it down by 2 months. That’s so fast and I’m sure it happens. But not in every circumstance. I’m not sure where all these stats are coming from — but after reading this forum for years, watching the women around me at work date and dating myself — I would say by the 3rd month –for sure–a women should feel a man making her more of a priority; integrating her into his life; increasing the amount of time he wants to spend with her and generally begin to act more like a boyfriend and then eventually talk to the woman about it.

The key is to continue dating others. Be busy. Do not be available all the time. And most important do NOT worry that not being available to text and hang out with them whenever they choose will scare them away. Because if a guy really likes you he will wait and be grateful for the time you give him and that will MAKE him want to lock you down sooner.

Sadly I used to date like a lot of women do — to meet guys, find the one I liked and then try to get that man to like me. SO wrong. You meet guys, see which one treats you the best -consistently- live your life and see how well they court you. Period. The end. It will all end happily if you do this.

Your guy now does not seem to be increasing his attentions and seems to be giving more of his attention to another girl. If you are not sleeping with him — see him for a couple more weeks to see if he steps it up. But if you’ve already had sex and he’s being more attentive to another girl — oh hell no — I’d move it along to someone else that appreciates how awesome you are.