Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › If a man I'm dating introduces me to his kid before his buddies
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Maria.
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Kaija
Dating a man for several months and he introduces me to his child 4 months into the relationship and we do things together often. He introduced me to his buddies not until after 9 months of dating. Does this mean he is serious about me and possibly want a relationship with me or should I not read into it much and just be in the moment?
Sun
Are you BF and GF? Exclusive BF/GF?
Shannon
From what I just read, he’s introduced you to both, so what is the issue?
There may be various reasons why he never introduced you to his buddies, such as maybe they tend to get rowdy and he was afraid you would judge him for it. Maybe the opportunity just didn’t present itself. Perhaps his friends just aren’t that important, not as important as his child.
I wouldn’t worry about it.
Kaija
no we are not bf/gf. but dating eachother and not anyone else.
Phillygirl
If you aren’t exclusive I don’t think it means that much. I am very picky about who gets to meet my son, and I take a loooong time before I feel confident enough to allow that.
But I’ve also met plenty of people who I feel introduce their kids to people they date way to soon, and I think that is a mistake.
I guard my child’s heart and mind with a vengeance. Only the people I deem the very best get to meet him, so in my case, if you meet my son as anything more than a passing friend and someone to say “hi” to, I’m pretty serious.
That does not necessarily mean that is the case with your guy. I’d say until you are officially BF/GF not to put much stock into it.
kaye
You’ve been dating for 9 months and you don’t know if he’s serious about you? Put it this way if he hasn’t declared you are his girlfriend after 9 months then he’s not serious!!
I’ve dated lots of men who introduced me to their kids in the first month of the relationship and their buddies from the first date to a couple months in. I find it means nothing. I had a guy who I met his daughter ON our first date!! He picked me up before he dropped her off at the sitter.
So none of that means anything. The fact you’re not official BF/GF after 9 months. That means ALOT.
Phillygirl
Yep, Kaye is absolutely right. If he isn’t locking you down as a GF after all this time, he isn’t serious.
Maria
How old are you? Maybe he doesn’t even know about the “titles”. BF/GF, exclusive. Some people don’t use those at all.
At this stage it is time for you to talk about “us” with him. It’s been 9 months, he probably thinks you are his GF, otherwise he would have ended it by now. Most (decent) men don’t waste a woman’s time if they are not serious about her. So bring this topic gently and listen to what ghe says and especially how he says it. If he replies with “lets see how it goes” then he is not on the same page with you. Be prepared, however, to walk away if he says some coded sentences that could be translated as “not ready for a relationship”, especially given that he is, by virtue of your dating and seeing each other, is in a relationship with you. And for a long time already.
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