Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › If he hasn't texted in within a week, do you move on? Even before a coffe date?
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
mama.
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Julie
Hi, it’s me again.
After my last post about the video call guy, I moved on from him…not seeing him anymore. I’m still looking at other profiles. My friend told me that online if he hasn’t texted after a week you should just move on from him. I’m not going to chase men, if they like me they can ask me out…after a week of not texting, is it okay for me to ask him out for coffee, then he can chase me after I show him interest? Or asking a guy out for a coffee date is actually chasing a guy?
I’m still naive when it comes to dating as I just got out of a long-term relationship.
Thanks
Raven
Hi Julie, How long was your last relationship & how long has it been since the break up?
Are you meeting guys in real life too?
AngieBaby
I”m confused – you just said, I’m not chasing men, if they like me they’ll ask me out and then you immediately said the opposite, should I ask him out if I haven’t heard from him in a week, is that chasing. No offense and I’m not criticizing, just pointing out something obvious to me that you may not see – you seem very concerned about not chasing and then you say you’re thinking about chasing?
I never ask a man out for first date. I know it works for some ladies but I won’t do it. May sound kind of old-fashioned, but it works out much better that way. Saves you the embarrassment and hassle of finding out he’s not really interested or available or something.
So what happened here. Did you message him and he’s never replied at all or did you have some conversation and then he went silent?
If a guy hasn’t asked me out within one to two weeks after some initial conversation on the app, I write him off unless he comes back and makes a real effort, as in explains why he’s been silent and asks me out, but honestly that’s rare.
Julie
AngieBaby,
I was thinking of asking him out for a coffee date…then I let him initiate after that.
I haven’t heard from him in two weeks, so I thought maybe I should ask him out for a coffee first and see if he chases me after.
@raven I don’t really have that many guy friends in real life, and thought I’d give online dating a go and I broke up with my ex 3 years ago. We were together for 8 years.
I don’t have that many friends either to be honest. My ex was my only friend and the people that I hung around with were my ex’s friends.
Raven
Coffee guy isn’t interested, sorry.
If he were you would have heard from him by now.You’ve got to get out, make some friends & start having a life…
Online dating is not one stop shopping.
Maddie
If you haven’t even met yet, you should not reach out after a week of silence unless he told you in advance it was coming (because he’s sick or traveling or some good, real reason). This isn’t because he thinks you’re not interested enough. He is probably a flake or not serious or doesn’t have himself together to be consistent. Talk to other people who put in the effort and don’t disappear. Remember that the very beginning is when someone should be trying their hardest to impress you… it may all be downhill from here so if a guy already is ignoring you for a week from the start, then you are not his priority, and you shouldn’t want to become a priority for someone willing to blow you off and disappear. You can do better, so keep looking!
mama
Consider the fact that you are online dating as indication enough that you are interested in meeting people, such as this guy. This is not a case of him not knowing you’re interested. You don’t need to let him know. If they don’t text for a week or 2 and you haven’t even met yet, move on.
Raven gave some great advice about getting out and making some social contacts. It’s hard to make friends as an adult, but that might help give you some balance and perspective while you’re doing the online dating thing. Good luck to you! :)
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