Ignored Again

Amanda, Thank you, well actually I didn’t feel like that with the whole hacked story, I believed it & didn’t seem to have any shady vibes about it at the time.. but before that disappearance/ghosting happened (very beginning of January) I got that same very bad feeling I got this time before he started ignoring. It’s like I can feel it coming before it happens, I get very negative anxious vibes & I think I’m being paranoid…then see I wasn’t

Then too, he wanted to see me (just didn’t tell me which day yet) and mid convo (He asked me what I was doing) was gone, or allegedly hacked lol

When things are good, or were good, everything was effortless & felt safe & lovely. It’s these weird ghosting things :/

it’s like 2 different people..

I am trying to tell myself forget how great of a person you thought he was or how great he is to other people, all that matters here is 2 weeks ago onward!

Time to move on,
Thank you! I agree with you, your insights are accurate & appreciated

Ashley, I am willing to bet that if you weren’t feeling emotional about this that you would decide that this is not what you want in a relationship. Aside from him being someone you enjoy talking to, is he adding anything to your life that you really want? It looks like he is showing you who he is. Is he even treating you as well as a friendship?
Get some attitude girl and let him know that HE IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR! I have been there and done that myself…ugh! You don’t need his disrespect! You are a girl who needs to sparkle!

Ashley, my heart breaks for you.

But you know what? You are too smart and too lovely and too sweet to be with a douchenozzle. He just doesn’t deserve you. I’m not just saying that; I really mean it. There’s someone on the way for you—I really feel that. He’ll surprise you.

Don’t worry, don’t be anxious. Be relieved. This guy is doing you a favor. Channel your inner badass and realize, good riddance, who needs him.

You seem like a bright spark and that intuition of yours is something to be listened to. Don’t dismiss it. Ever. He comes across as someone with traits of a narcissistic sociopath. The lying, excuses, disappearing act, reappearing etc. Talk about high maintenance. Create closure for yourself with this one. Keep being plugged into your own life and passions and pursuits and going forward with your own interests rather than figuring out, or hoping, what some loser’s next move is going to be with you. Strive on!

Him ignoring you that way is when the narcissist/sociopath is in the ‘devalue’ stage. The stage AFTER idolising you. I’m telling you, when your gut kicks in automatically about someone it is not to be ignored. It is a sure sign you know something is not right. Like I said, construct closure with this guy yourself – lots of women wait around “hoping for closure” from men they thought they had ‘something’ with, who aren’t even worth chasing closure for. I don’t know why. If a guy disappears on me, I just let ’em go. I don’t even care that they’ve gone because they obviously didn’t seriously care about me in the first place, so I don’t go chasing them. With anyone, there are no guarantees. Relationships are not forever in most cases, people are fickle, and will do whatever they want, including ourselves! You can be in a relationship for a week, a month, a year, ten years. It can still be over at a whim for whatever reason or no reason. I really hope you let this loser go for good. You lived without him before, and you’ll live without him again.

So sorry Ashley! This was a case of ‘mad love’ and unfortunately they rarely ever survive because there are serious integrity issues that eventually appear when the fog wears off and you find out he a lemon 🍋!

I know it’s hard but you will get through it. Like they say “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger (and smarter)! Hugs

Boy oh boy is this guy charming…he knows how to act, knows what to say and how to be…for a while…

It is all an act. An act he cannot keep up with the same person…for too long.

He sweeps in and is “all about you”…when he is not that person at all.

You are seeing him as he really is…with the mask off. He is running scared. Running and running so that nothing catches him…ever.

He really should be on the stage…he would get an Oscar.

I am sorry Ashley, but this man will not find peace. His bright party life is a big distraction for himself so he does not stop….never stop, and face himself…he is empty inside, and that is too bad for him. I really do feel sorry for someone who cannot live and be at peace inside.

Please see him as he really is…an empty man….a man who cannot stop….and like the story of the Red Shoes…he has to keep dancing. He has no choice.

He is not a keeper…for you or any woman.

He is good at what he does…and he is good at reading you too.

He purposely creates distance…he does not want to get too close. That is where the pain is..you want to get closer and he backs off.

Now we get to the work. There is learning to be had here…emotional learning for you. That is what to focus on. What do you think you can learn through all this?

Nothing is wasted if it educates us.

Going on a date tonight with a guy I actually went on a date with the same time I was talking to my guy in early days. If nothing else it should be good for me!

Have fun on your date and keep us posted.

Ashley I really hope you take RCS’s advice to heart. You can learn a lot from what went wrong with this last guy.

Slow down, stop investing in a guy who has yet to prove himself, and PROVE his sincerity through actions that are consistent, and consistently match his words.

If he’s laying it on thick at the beginning, if he’s flakey, inconsistent, unclear on what he wants in life and relationship-wise, if he’s all about being physical and little about seeking to find out WHO you are as a person, or any of the other million warning signs YOU KNOW to look out for, walk and walk fast.

I think you are still too much in your head of trying to “find the ONE” that you don’t even step back to see who a guy really is, and if he’s worthy of anything long term.

I think you are allowing yourself to rationalize too much bad or unacceptable behavior from the start, and allow yourself to be beguiled by a guy who knows how to flatter.

Flattery is not the same thing as a sincere compliment. It’s shallow, and intended to manipulate.

Are you finding all the guys you date seem to have the same questionable character? If so, you need to spend some more time in self reflection and figure out what you need to fix in your internal monologue, that prevents you from repelling these types (or removing them quickly).

Know you have a lot to offer and stop accepting douche’s. I get the sense you get dazzled by flashy guys, guys who look good and garner lots of attention, but are of little substance.

Phillygirl, all signs with him were excellent…until the spouts of MIA a year ago. So he was perfect til I’d say 9 months. My flaw is I run with the “good” and base everything on that, overlooking hiccups when they happen laterThank you so much!