Ignored Again

If people are in love, there its only one sure way to see it clearly: time… like after 5 years :)

Ashley, you loved/love this guy, and that is important. How many times you fall in love with somebody? Like real love… its very rare… So, it was/is a good thing, regardless, how it turned/turns out

There was a comment about the emptiness in his life, and all the showing off on the social media proves that

I dont know, what would help you now, to get angry, or to go on a date, or just allow yourself to love him regardless…. our feelings should not be a reflection of how we think the other feels about us…. BUT! our action should reflect their actions, that is for sure

you loved him for a long time, you are hurt now, it wont go away just like that, you have to come to terms with this, and if you chose to love him, then love him…. just dont act on it

I dont know, if it makes sense, but we all focus only on people we love and discard the others….. what about the guys, who are you dating in a bid to forget him…. is it fair on them? what if they fall in love with you? and you will be indifferent, because you are in love with somebody else…. and he will telling about it to his friends, and the female friends will tell him: she is a narcissist, she only uses you, etc etc……does it make you a narcissist? no

I am not sure, if I am saying this correctly, but if you love him, own it…. I dont think you are ready to get over him just yet… and dating others… which is understandable

lots of people (here and in real life) were in a not loving relationships for years, and somehow they think, you are allowed 24 hours to get over him

it will be a process, just make sure you dont hurt others in the process in bid of an easy releif

Tell yourself: I love that idiot, only time will help, I will cry, I will do silly things, but I will survive…. give yourself months to move on…. dont “date” anybody, but try to understand more the people, who you have in your life, do the right things, and it will come back, believe me… just give it a time, dont rush in anything

Ashley, you are a very attractive girl, I bet you are a thousend times better then those pijama girls, who are cheap (and he knows it, dont doubt it)

Lay off social media, dont do snapchats (or what is it) every day, dont be online all the time

Ashley, I hear you… I had a date last nite too after realizing that I need to date other people too. It’s not easy.. My situation is not quite the same as your’s, but still..

You can’t help but compare, we’re human.. And basically we’re sitting across the table trying to make chit chat with a new stranger. I know it’s supposed to be all in the attitude, but it’s not easy.

You’ll need more time.. I, on the other hand, will make myself go out with this new person. There was nothing really ‘wrong’ with him. But will my feelings for him be the same? I can say with 100%, No.

But he does some fun activities I would like to try, so I am going to try. And soon you should probably too.. Try to go on casual dates(when you can) and I think it will help. It will take a long time to get over your friend, but we have to put new people in our life to make it easier to move on. One day we will say “That helped!”
Even though it is hard to do..

Kathy, I hope your dating goes well.

I was weak & super hormonal earlier & just read all of this again to get back on the right track. I have to keep doing that, kind of like I’m studying for a test. I can make alot of progress but then I tend to go backwards (I’m like that with diets too lol) one thing at least I’ve made lasting progress on is not posting on stupid Snapchat. I’m not going to until a week from now

I am sorry you are hurting.

Two things to think about.

First, millions of people have gone through this and survived, some have even thrived with a new love. You are not alone by a long shot. Take comfort in that.

Second, try to remember who you were before you got involved with this man. You will be that woman again, but even stronger and smarter.

It will take time but the sun will rise again and you will be free of heartache.

Thinking of you, keep us posted.

Today once I started my day, I’m doing way way better thankfully. Right now I feel good/happy. I hope it lasts

My best male friend is going to come spend time with me twice this week so that will be good for me, he is such a wonderful friend.

Anyway today I told myself this saying that I made & I’ll share incase it helps anyone else:
If it wasn’t what you thought,
You didn’t lose what you thought.

Flower, well I did take responsibility for my shortcomings but I never considered him a player, at all. He never did anything wrong or went MIA til 9 months in. I never even considered the thought of him being a player…just someone with alot of friends. If I knew he was a player, I wouldn’t be surprised & I wouldn’t have thought so highly of him. I always knew he had a good amount of female friends but I have mostly male friends so I never thought that was a bad thing. It is only because of Snapchat that I saw him looking like a jerk

Phillygirl, oh for sure. My mistakes of not realizing things though, I’d think well maybe this or maybe that…just never thought player.

I am glad you have male friends who can give you male insight.

Ask your male friend what he thinks this guy is doing…it might help all of us.

I was just hanging out with my friend & told her I want to get angry. That’s honestly the healthiest thing for me in these situations, to be angry & done instead of sad because that’s when I’m vulnerable/weak. She said “be careful what you wish for, look at snapchat” he had just posted an elaborate spread of fancy food on his table, 2 glasses of champagne, & a blonde girl sitting next to him waving at the camera. The next was a video of her sitting on the back of his couch, she said don’t make me laugh. He said why not. She said because I’m gonna choke on my food. Then she walked toward him/the table. It gave me this overwhelming feeling, that was the state that broke the camel’s back. I finally saw what I needed to see to truly get it through my head. I got the vibe they are more than just friends, like I could definitely see them having sex tonight. That Snapchat is what truly did it for me. As disgusted as I am, I’m grateful. I got what I asked for. I wanted clarity & I got it. She told me he reeled me in, got me, then it’s on to the next girl & she was absolutely correct. Normally I’d be crying but this wave of calm came over me. I feel RELIEF. I feel relief. And I promptly deleted my Snapchat account.

youve gotten great advise and support, and now you know unquestionably what this man really is.

He may contact you again, he may not. BUT actually he hasn’t dumped you… he has ignored you. Now you dump him. In your mind you are walking away, not him, because his record is to contact again. That doesn’t make you dumped it makes you shelved/ignored.

You are therefore the dumper- this very moment. He doesn’t have to know that, that she for you to know. YOU know YOU are now done. End of.

No more contact or reaching to him. Thank god you didn’t send more messages or ultimatums etc.

The reason you haven’t been able to make sense of it is because you are normal and decent, and he is not. No further analysis I said required there.

If he comes a knocking, please, I think I speak for us all, tell him haha! Goodbye.

Honeypie, Thank you, that is what I feel like, a sort of quiet dignity that I know what the deal is & I removed myself from the situation! Today is one week of no contact on my end, I’m so glad I didn’t make any more attempts! It felt good to deactivate Snapchat to say I am not looking at this toxic torture anymore, not letting him hurt me in that way again

Love is not a game. Dysfunctional relationships are though

If you are going to game play and not be honest and sincere, you are not in any kind of mindset to be dating.

Real love is about respect, admiration, consideration, selflessness, encouragement, healthy boundaries, patience, kindness, and being each other’s best friend and fan.

If you don’t have that- it isn’t love.