Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Ignored Again
- This topic has 111 replies and was last updated 7 years, 2 months ago by
Ashley.
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Phillygirl
And to be crystal clear, the above has to come from both sides and both parties in a relationship
Flower
Yeah, phillgirl; but before you get there, it is a pull and push, i mean no two people just jump in love and stay that way no matter what they do..and there must be a complicity and compatibility etc etc..but love game is when you wanna call him 24/7 but you don’t cause you know it’s not right, when you wanna tell him you love him but you know it’s too early so you retain yourself, you wanna not keep your boundaries when he messes up cause you don’t wanna lose him, but you have to react cause you don’t want him to think he a got you for granted..it’s just that, it’s not really playing unless the person en face is doing precisely that..common, if love was so easy and straightforward, no one would be here on this forum..
Gaby
This same thing to happen to me several times with a guy I was really into. I always made excuses for his behavior, but he clearly never wanted a relationship. It was all for attention and an ego boost.
Haley
This guy really is unbelievable! If he really has to try this hard to make it look like his life is all that “Hey look at me the coolest Playboy that ever lived”…. it shows how pathetic he really is. If someone is really that happy they don’t have the need to try so hard to project the image.
I just can’t even. I’m sorry you had to see that, but sometimes taking the rose colored glasses off gets you to realize the truth. He is emotionally unavailable, and very likely a Narcissist. He is a coward, selfish, lacks empathy and compassion. He plays hot and cold to manage down your expectations of him, and you’re left feeling “what did I do wrong?” The answer is nothing – it is him, not you. He has MAJOR issues, and the best thing you can do is get off of social media for a while, heal, find yourself and block his number, because the second you feel good again he will be back. He has played this game before, it is who he is, it is how he operates.
The good thing is you now know what he is like. You had some nice memories, and you will grow stronger because of this. Karma will come around, just live your life and find your joy. Cut all contact with him, you are way too good for this A$$bag. He is a joke, like seriously he really thinks he is something. Stay on your white horse and never take him back.
This girl in the video will be in your shoes soon enough, looking at this newest post that includes yet another woman, and she will be wondering “what did I do wrong?” Good Luck to her, to all of these women – luckily you dodged a bullet, you will be SO GLAD someday you are no longer with him. All you need is some time to heal!
Hannah
Welcome back Ashley! I’m so sorry it’s under these circumstances. You’re a lovely, bright, caring and intelligent woman. You seriously are! But sadly, even the best of us can be played. The rubbish players are ones everyone with any sense can spot, but there are some seriously manipulative men out there too. The older you get, the more experienced they are so the better they get at it.
Take heart! I know someone that married a guy like this. She wouldn’t leave him for cultural reasons and now has her entire life ruined. He looks like the perfect family and business man. But under the surface, he has no consideration for her at all and he has affairs all the time. She doesn’t even know about the affairs. I’d never tell her as she won’t leave him anyway and it would just make her misery worse.
So be thankful that hasn’t happened to you! He showed you who he was before you got married and had kids. You’re free to wipe the slate clean and move on.
I know it’s not easy. Don’t try to date. Spend time with the people you love who love you. You need to be nurtured and loved. You need to feel special and important….and you are! But in a real way. Not through a new man thinking you’re sexy and wanting to hit on you, but a real friend giving you a hug, listening to you, seeing you cry. That’s what’s going to help. You just need time to grieve.
Ashley
Haley, Thank you, today is day 8 of no contact & now that I know the truth I am doing pretty well, I feel strong again like my old self & I feel generally happy. Of course I’m still hurt & everything but each time I get my heart broken I find I bounce back quicker & quicker. And nothing against the girl/girls, not trying to sound rude or conceited but they have nothing on me lol not in beauty & certainly not in class. What he loved about me is how I dress elegantly yet sexy at the same time, without showing skin. And like someone said the other day, they are definitely cheap. I look more beautiful rolling out of bed than what he was “showing off” lol
Hannah, Thank you so much. I feel so bad for your friend, I hope she finds some sort of happiness. That is so sad. Yes the saying “Rejection is God’s protection” ..I could be being spared of a lot more disrespect right now without evening knowing it. Yes I agree, no dating! My best male friend treats me like gold & goes above & beyond to make me happy in general, just true friendship is the only kind of male companionship I’m seeking. I am repulsed by male attention of the “sexy” sort, it’s really irritating me & turning me off, I’ve been shutting all that down left & right. I just want fall out of love with him asap.
Ashley
Haley, I just now looked at that blog you recommended the other day, post male syndrome, I love it! Thank you :)
Haley
Awesome, I’m glad you looked into it. Also, look into the other one, Baggage Reclaim, at her lists of posts. You will learn a lot, you will see your situation in many of her posts. Good luck, you got this!
Lisa
Haley wrote
“This guy really is unbelievable! If he really has to try this hard to make it look like his life is all that “Hey look at me the coolest Playboy that ever lived”…. it shows how pathetic he really is.
If someone is really that happy they don’t have the need to try so hard to project the image.”Totally agree
That aggressive triangulation on social media,
just makes me laugh.
Many insecure guys out there.Ashley
Lisa, he’s really really short, I’m 5 feet tall and he’s maybe 3 inches taller than me? Not sure the exact measurement but maybe that’s why or has something to do with it. I don’t care about height but I know most women aren’t attracted to a guy that short
Melissa
Ashley, if you really, truly want to fall out of love with him ASAP, then stop posting here and stop talking about him to anyone for any reason. Look at this thread, it’s actually keeping the drama going and keeping his vibe fresh and alive in your head. Just a suggestion if you really want to move on fast.
Ashley
Melissa, well I’m replying to those who have been so kind to help as well…if people wrote to me & I didn’t say anything I would find that to be rude behavior. Talking about things helps me & since the video I changed tremendously in 48 hours after I saw it. I went from not having an ounce of willpower to not view his story, to genuinely not even being tempted to look. I’ve made more progress in a few days than it would’ve taken me weeks before. I’ve felt happier the past couple days than I have in a year. I feel like I have nothing bringing me down anymore. So talking about it with other women has helped tremendously. If it wasn’t for these ladies I would not be where I’m at. If you find it annoying then you have the choice to not read my thread. Not saying that in a rude way I just mean I am doing what is best for me, it is working.
Melissa
That’s great Ashley… I never said I found it annoying, interesting that you assumed that. I was giving you a tip for getting over it ASAP as you expressed that is what you wanted. Whatever works for you – I’ve just found that at a certain point the less I talk or think about something I don’t want any longer, the quicker it goes away. And in my experience it works faster than venting. I’m not saying in a rude way, I’ve giving you a secret for the fast track. You’ve asked in a public forum for advice so presumably it’s open for all to chime in. You have the choice not to take it.
Ashley
Sorry lol didn’t mean to come off as defensive or anything I took it the wrong way. I just am the type where the more info or perspective I have on something, it really helps me a lot. So if I’m doing well & someone adds something I haven’t thought of, that helps even more! But yeah I agree I actually tell that to my mom allll the time when she ruminates, the more you talk about it the worse the elephant in the room gets. But for me it’s more like the more input, the more I understand or learn. I guess I’m not at the point yet where I feel like I’ve learned all I could about this type of person
Melissa
And why would you want to learn more about this type of person if you won’t want this in your life?? Would it make sense to spend the time learning about the kind of man you do want instead?
Ashley
It helps me because the more knowledge I have, the more I understand what happened. The more I understand what happened, the more I move on. I know what works for me
If
Your own pic is all about superficial .. it’s not a sweet pose it’s a seductive one. And looks fake and photo shopped. If you want a real man stop chasing fake men and evaluate the type of men you attract through your own persona. Your pic isn’t exactly the ‘girl next door’ classy that you claim you are.
Ashley
Lol okay? Then don’t look darling
Ridiculous
Just get over it. The guy disappeared a year ago and you jumped like a sad puppy when he gave you attention. Have some pride
Lisa
Ashley, yes, it could be his height, it could be so much, he has been jealous all the time of your great qualities. Your looks and confidence and personality.
Sounds like a poor little loser.People who aggressively brag and triangulate on social media … my god … who are they trying to convince, really … themselves, probably.
He knows you’ll find someone hotter/more intelligent. That’s his biggest issue. You are above his league. lol, and now he can’t even reach you on snapchat anymore.
Algo
wow people are awfully butthurt abiut one of theregular posters who are never ever rude or blunt with the women seeking advice on here. The reason this thread keeps going is because Ashley is one of the most lied regulars who gives sound advice and stays sweet and caring all the way through.
Ashley, you are one of the nicest people here, and I doubt anyone here can make you feel bad about yourself. But know that most of us don’t feel this way. Just keep going the way you are now, you seem to be recovering just swimmingly.
Ashley
Ridiculous, that’s what I’ve been workin on 😉
Ashley
Lisa, thank you for your insights, I do know that anyone who is happy or secure doesn’t treat people with disrespect!
Ashley
Algo, aw thank you sweetheart, I appreciate your kindness, same to you
Lisa
If wrote
“Your own pic is all about superficial .. it’s not a sweet pose it’s a seductive one.”
Many men and women are jealous of radiant, sensual photos.
I have a similar one.
I intend to keep it that way. -
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