Ignoring Me

Hi phoebe

It was him calling me up one day and kind of saying that he wanted to see where things went that I should stop dating losers and date him.

I had always thought of him pretty platonically but he is physiological quite attractive so I always wondered. But there was stuff going on in his life that kind of turned me off, lack of assertiveness in some past situations with other people and having a DUI

So originally I rejected him when he called me up that day,and he didn’t take it well at all. but then the idea grew on me and I really started thinking about it and we started going out. He would say that he thinks about him being in a relationship with me all the time but every time we moved closer he would freak out and create distance. He has a lot of baggage form this last girl of several years ago. So no one really decided one wasn’t a potential mate except on day a few weeks ago a few days after telling me he wants to marry me he got angry and told me we will never ever be together.

So it’s been nothing but confusions and mixed messages

It seems this situation is massively over analysed already – searching for one snippet of how that he really does like you, want to be with you and there must be something else getting in the way. Boil it down:

-someone that blows hot and cold is either (a) using you or (b) likes you enough to keep you as an option but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either

– you texted him it was over. He didn’t bother to respond showing he is simply not bothered

Honestly, you need to stop going round and round on this merry go round trying to rationalise it or romanticise it. He played a blinder, you unfortunately got used but learn from it and don’t let it happen again. It happens too often to too many women, myself included, but if we all learned our lesson then perhaps these guys would have more respect.

He is a jerk an unfortunately you got caught up in his game.. Heal and move on, it will take time but just accept it. As someone said the fact that he didnt even reply clearly shows that he does not care. He wanted you around while he kept his options open, too many times us as women accept the BS that these guys dish out. Maybe if more of us started making these guys respect us they would hve no one to pull these stunts on. I am sorry that you had to go through this as i myself a few months ago went through it. At that time i though i must have done something wrong and trie to find all the things that were wrong with me… But nothing was wrong with me he was just a jerk playing with my emotions from the start. You dont need this guy.