Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › I'm a guy, wouldnt commit now I miss her
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Sarah.
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Chris
I’m seeking some advice on what to do with this chick I started dating a month ago. Cut to the chase we got pretty hot and heavy early on. She was hot, sweet, cute funny girl and we had loads of fun together and the sex was pretty insane.
Anyways a week ago i receive this text from her –
“Hey babe. Just wondering where you see this going, my ex has been ringing me wanting to get back together and asking me out to dinner and stuff but to be honest I like you more then him. I haven’t gone out with him, mainly coz I like what we have :) had my exam today, was a piece of cake haha feeling good. ”I just moved to the country and even though I’m applying for residency I do not know of near future plans so I told her I really liked her but think she was after something more serious and I wasn’t sure if that’s something I wanted. She replied saying that’s fine and was super nice about it. I asked her if we can keep in touch and she said sure.
Well I havnt herd from her at all now, and I see on Facebook she’s been dating again. I feel like I’m so confused now and want her back, even though I’m unsure if I’m staying in this same city long term or seeing the rest of the country. I can’t stop thinking about her. Doesn’t help my friends and flatmates really liked her too. What should I do? I havnt texted her since the last conversation, I’m kinda hoping she texts me first but I can tell now she probably won’t.
Anon
Hi. She won’t text you as we as women feel that a man should be the one to pursue us. She clearly wanted something more serious, you declined and she respected your decision and moved on. If you want her back, not just because you just want her now cause she’s no longer available, then you’ll have to make the first move.
Send her a message or even better phone her up. As her how’s she’s been and then say you’d like to see her for lunch or dinner. You can ask her about her situation with the ex, if they are now dating etc. If you find she’s still single you can tell her that you feel you made a mistake and you would like to try again.
But please don’t do this if you aren’t sure about what you want, that is unfair to her.
Options2
Great advice Anon
Stefanie
When you feel you are ready to step up, get in touch with her and tell her that, and then follow through. If she’s dating actively, you’d be best advised to figure it out as as possible. But please MEAN IT, don’t just take her off the market for your own ego’s sake.
Chris
Thanks ladies
I guess maybe If I can’t offer what she wants home can I convince her just to be fwb? We have great sex and a lot of funSarah
If she’s a high value woman she won’t go back to being fwb when she clearly wants more. I think ladies this is good insight for those woman who tend to date emotionally unavailable men.
Chris, she’s a woman with feelings, regard that next time you talk to her.Janet
FWB is like the complete opposite of ‘serious relationship’ ..and she said she’s looking for a serious relationship that’s why she discontinued dating you.
Girls have no problem finding a guy to have sex with, but they’d rather have sex with a guy that is emotionally invested in them –unless their primary goal is just to have a casual fwb deal.
I think you should move on, your ulterior motive is the ‘great sex’. clearly you are not interested in her as a person, and you don’t miss her, you miss the idea of her and you miss the physical relationship. Save her the pain and go on tindr and find a girl who is interested in just hook ups.
soni
she stopped seeing you because she wanted more than a FWB affair. and she was pretty upfront and polite and clear with u. and now u want to get in touch with her and offer the same thing? lol..
Chris
I do miss her, yes the sex is great won’t deny that, just with my situation it’s complicated and I don’t want to hurt her later down the road. If it was any other situation then I would be serious hands down. Who knows I’m still completating being serious with her but I just need to sort out a few things first. If I’m straight up with what I want right now will she understand? I know she’s high class but we did really connect, I’m hoping she will at least wanna be friends and keep in touch a bit
I honestly do like her more then physically I guess it’s more apparent now that it’s overTeresa
chris,
She has made herself clear, she wants someone to be with her in more of a fwb way, you are never going to get that. She wanted a stable, emotional connection with someone and you are not it. If you feel the need to “sort things out” then you are in no way ready to be commited to her or any other women for that matter.
soni
shouldn’t you first sort out your issues first? since your very clear u don’t really want to hurt her.
you can try approaching her and having an honest talk with her. and see how things go? its a possibility that she’s moved on mentally and emotionally but its also possible that she misses you? u can try.. all the best
Stefanie
Chris, she’s already made it clear where she stands and you have made it clear you aren’t ready. Leave it at that until you’ve changed your situation and can go back to her with something real to offer. Unfair to try to get sex off her or lurk around spoiling her chances with someone who does want her. If you truly care about her, you will want her to be happy, even if it’s not with you. That’s the acid test of real love/caring and your maturity.
Chris
Thanks ladies guess you all are right. I will try make up my mind this week, just hope I’m not too late if u decide to commit. I wish things could be easy but there’s many things in the way, I do care for her and don’t wanna hurt her
Stefanie
You’re doing the right thing Chris.
Newbie
Too funny, a pic showed up here on the fake post
Olivia
Fake… But maybe she wanted to gain insight from another point of view
redcurleysue
Here is the scoop. You don’t know this woman well enough to commit. You know her well enough to date and see if it develops further.
Offer to date her and see if you two still fit in 6 months…and she dates others as well.
That is what I would consider a good shot. If you two are meant to be in 6 months you will still be.
Jenni smith
Chris/Sarah, use a different pic if you’re making a fake post :)
Lee
I do feel strange about the OP having the same pic as Sarah’s. I’d like to think he used Sarah’s pic from previous threads (which is creepy btw). If he didm I’m uncertain why Sarah didn’t care to mention something this obvious when she commented earlier on this post.
Kaye
Lee, the pics weren’t on the original post. She must have added it later and when she did it linked to her email address showing that she was commenting on her own fake post!! Busted… :)
Jenny
Creepy
Jenny
I don’t think it’s fake though. I think she thinks this is where her “Chris” is coming from… That this is why he’s not committing to her. Kind of a self-deluded daydream about her giving some guy an ultimatum and him letting her go. In her mind she thinks he’s regretful & missing her but given the clear dysfunction he’s prob long gone… Sorry Sarah, just my guess
Jenny
He’s not going to commit though. And just cause you imagine he gives a sh*t doesn’t make it a reality… I’d stay away from your ex too & next time don’t throw that in w the ultimatum. Jealousy discourages, not stimulates *stable* people.
Sarah
Lol, this is my brother on anewmode, I suggested he use the site and let him use my email as he thought he had to make an account.
funny when people jump to conclusions!! haha
Dont buy it
Sorry,
You answered your own brother’s question, on the site? And just moved to the country..blah blah residency..
Doesnt make sense..but heyyy..different strokes
(Also, you made a comment about learning how to deal with fwb in another thread)
Just sayin… -
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