I'm depressed and my boyfriend doesn't care.

If you are that depressed, get yourself to a Dr. right away!

PS I don’t think its so much that he is not concerned but that he is the type of person who does not like dealing with emotional stuff. I still think that’s no excuse and would not want to be with him.

I am going to guess that his isn’t the first time you used some dramatic comment to try to get his attention.

Because what he said was pretty typical of the ‘I can’t deal with her drama’ response.

That’s a really unfair thing to do to people. Your girlfriends trying to ‘cheer you up?’ People who are seriously depressed and suicidal don’t just cheer up.

If you are wanting to hurt yourself for real, seek help from a crisis hotline, family member or mental health professional. If not, this game you might be playing isoing to just push people away and not bring them closer to you.

This is such a hard topic to give advice on, especially since everyone deals with depression differently and there are so many emotions involved. I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression my whole life so i’ll give it a go…

From what you’ve said, I think your bf has a hard time dealing with very emotional topics. Do the two of you normally get into really deep conversations and talk about depression or emotions a lot? If not, this probably shocked him a bit, especially if you hadn’t previously talked about your depression.

Of course everyone wants to feel cared for and I’m sure he does care about you, however you sent that text expecting a specific type of response, right? But when he didn’t respond the way you wanted him to it made you feel even worse and even more insecure. I think the best way to avoid this from happening is not to discuss important things via text. I’ve done it a few times and it always backfires, because the minute you send the text you expect a response, and when they don’t respond the way you want them to it makes you an anxious mess.

Most men aren’t used to talking so openly about emotional topics like we are with our girlfriends. They retreat and go silent to deal with their issues. Try to put yourself first right now, get some help with your depression and talk to him about it in person, not by text. XX

J – he is her boyfriend! Of course you tell your boyfriend when you are depressed. That is not ‘beyond reasonable”. The idea that a crisis counselor or therapist is the only person who can ever hear about depression is nonsense. Close family and friends know the good and the bad. The idea that we have to ashamed of mental illness and never even tell those close to us does incredible harm to people. If you have a bad day you tell your family. iF you have the flu you tell them. If you hurt your ankle you do not hide it from everyone but your physician. Mental illness is not something that needs to hidden. It is not scary. It is something a lot of ppl have and no one should feel bad for talking about.

Seriously, @J is a real jerk for suggesting that someone’s suicidal tendencies and mental illness has to revolve around a single person (and getting his/her attention!!???!!!)
She asked for help, which is a brave thing to do. Now, she is asking for advice, and clearly, she isn’t getting the best one from some people like J.
Also, of course you tell the people closest to you when you are in crisis. Refer to any crisis website and that is what they recommend (on top of going to therapy, which can’t happen right away). A decent person don’t just go, “oh okay” when someone is at risk of suicide.

AC, you are a wise and compassionate person. Your feelings are too much for you right now, but don’t let ignorant people like j being you down.

In all honesty you need to get to a therapist as soon as possible if you are feeling suicidal / depressed. You probably completely freaked him out with that message, he isn’t a doctor, nor is he your therapist or your carer. So he waited and thought about the best response to give you in that situation which was to reach out to people who are immediately in your life and not living 2 hours away. In my opinion that is being kind.

I have been in a similar situation when I was younger, I made the mistake of thinking that my partner was responsible for my happiness. He wasn’t. That he should fill up the void and make me feel better when I was down. He shouldn’t. That if he REALLY loved me I would be the center of the universe and he should drop everything for me. He didn’t… And you know what it was completely right. I had to learn to grow up, stand on my own two feet and when I was feeling depressed reach out to a therapist of a helpline to talk through the way I was feeling. They are trained and it is their job AND YOUR job to support these issues, literally no one elses. I know this sounds harsh but you will be healthy and happier for having the strength to come through the dark days (which will get few and fewer the more you learn self love) and eventually you will see relationships for what they are… lovely things to have as PART of your life, to be enjoyed and treasured.

When you are in a better headspace you can talk to him about this. With a rational voice explain what happens when you are feeling low and how you manage the situation and get help for yourself as you know its something you need to work through with a trained proffesional. Maybe appreciate that some people aren’t cut out to be with someone with mental health problems and thats okay, it just means the two of you aren’t compatible which means that you can find someone who does love you for who you are and will stand by you when you are feeling blue. I know that I did and I’m now with a kind and loving man who I enjoy with all my heart, as for the mental health I speak to a specialist and (occasionally) rant on here. You will be fine. Sending hugs.