Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › I’m just confused
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by
mell.
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Lulu
So I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now and we’ve been messaging pretty regularly and he responds pretty quickly but today after I left his this morning he told me his friends from home were coming over for a night out, I sent a message a few hours after leaving, the standard, and he read it several hours after I sent it, fine normal, but hasnt responded all day but has very clearly been active on WhatsApp and seen my Instagram stories…
Now feel free to call me neurotic, but this happens to me all the time, I see a guy for a few weeks and the poof gone.
I just want to know what people think? Is he purposefully ignoring me or am i just thinking about this way out of proportion?
Annabel
This happens to me ALLLLLLLLL the time. Joys of online and casual dating. Usually means they are:
Having too much of a good time to reply
They see you as casual
They aren’t that serious about you
They have you as a side chick with someone else they like better on the scene.If this happens all the time, like myself? You’re attracting the wrong guys. Check out Nu mindframe on YouTube search “dismissive avoidant” and this will explain the males you keep going for…more than likely that’s because you’re “fearful avoidant” she explains this too in her videos and it helped me out a lot.
Park this one to the side, give up dating for the while, find good pals, go out, enjoy life, get hobbies, get yourself looking good, start a diet, join a gym, change your hairstyle, get a new look, volunteer etc and cultivate a world that’s HAPPY and HEALTHY and forget him…
Any man? That shows low level investment? Mirror them. They take days to reply? You do it to. They take hours to reply, you do it to. If they are making you an option? Keep him as one of the eggs in your basket and get back out on the dating scene
cupcake
I don’t understand what the big deal is. He is with friends and your text doesn’t seem to have been something urgent. So no need for him to text back immediately or at all?! You have only been seeing him for a few weeks so maybe back off a little and don’t be so needy. And also stop projecting your previous experiences onto every new guy, it ll turn into a self fullfilling prophecy.
Tallspicy
Lulu, if you cannot date without being so over invested, you should not be dating. Until a man is your boyfriend, you should not be initiating anything. You should be mirroring his contact with receptiveness, responsiveness and warmth. You watch his behavior. And he told you he had friends coming, it is needy to interrupt that. Give it 36 hours before you worry.
mell
I was confused why you’d be concerned on the same day – i.e. you saw him that morning, knew he was busy, but then got really concerned cos he didn’t reply during the day?
Whilst he’s with friends who don’t visit often, it’s OK if he’s busy. He won’t want to start a whole conversation with you whilst out at dinner with them, or catching up as a group.
If he’s often flaky, then yeah, that’s a bad thing. But people are allowed to be busy for a day or two.
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