I'm pretty sure that I've just caught my boyfriend cheating

Those helped. I will also tell myself positive thoughts

Whatever pain you imagine, multiply it by 10. A pain that I can manage by reading some things posted here but overall having no peace Until I am sleep at night. Loving someone so much that you would do anything that apparently does not even have enough level of care to not expose your health to risk.

Now that I havent heard from him in two days, I think it is clear to him what I wanted to talk to him about. He isnt strong enough to face me. Even if he were really annoyed by me the other day, he has had enough time to cool down and call to see what I wanted. Its not good that he hasnt.

I dont think all of these people are lying on him. Even if they were, why is he surrounded with people that lie? He has been cheating and lying and now I know and am free Is what I think. Also he is free from me at least.

The door will officially close on Monday. We run an errand together every Monday. When I dont hear from him, there will not be anymore doubt.

Moving forward i think i will battle with the following:

When that woman called, he had made a choice to spend time with her over me. I think I will have daily coursework to change my feelings. Instead of beating myself up by thinking I am low I can change that. I will tell myself that he did care about me some. He was choosing to not lead me on as much an possibly push me away so much that I would leave and he wouldnt be dogging me out as much. Even though he was wih her, even she is going through his phone and seeing signs that he is lying to her too. We all are being fooled.

There were times when a guy friend has wanted to hang out and he would show no signs of jealousy. He would encourage me to go. If i had to choose between the 2, he would tell me to go with my friend. He would tell me to reschedule things with my friends. I think he was trying to send me to a good man, to good friends.

I had been jealous of his coke friend because i think she is the only one that gets the truth from him. But she is probably boost his low slf esteem somehow.

In the end, I think he tried to be good to me but his natural ways over ran it. He knows that my love for him is sincere and more than he deserves and he tries to let me go while trying not to hurt me while indirectly hurting me anyway because he can not help it.

These thoughts may not be true but it is better thsn feeding myself negative ones. I would love to officially say goodbye to him, forgive hin even and pray for his ways but i can do thst wihout Actually talking to him. I bet i am right about him setting me free.

Numb, my Mom told me over and over, be with a guy that brings out the best in you. If the guy is making you feel hurt, confused, angry, unsure of yourself, get away from him.

There are a lot of narcissists out there. You recognize them because they suck the life out of everyone around them. Everything is always about how they feel, how you are affecting them. They truly cannot see anyone else’s feelings above their own. It is amazing to watch them twist things into them being the victim, even when they clearly are in the wrong.

The scary part is they often come off as charming and fun to be around. People who are not involved with them on a daily basis often have great respect for them.

I have seen narcissists in marriages, and in every one of them the poor spouse learns to never do anything that will set them off.

This guy sounds like a narcissist to me. If so, he NEVER would have made you happy, even if he declared his love for you and married you.

Numb, then consider yourself having dodged a bullet by getting away from him.

Trust me, life is not happy when you are hooked by a narcissist. They need your soul to survive. :)

good luck Numb, I’m just heading to bed and wanted to see if you were ok. I’m so happy you grabbed a therapist so quickly – after the shock he out you through it’s a really good idea and I know you have issues with depression so it’s super smart to just get some help at this most painful stage. Fingers crossed you get the all clear about your health. Try to get some pampering done for you – a massage, a day spa with girlfriends – something really uplifting.

Have a look at clinical dash depression dot co dot uk. That should help you get a handle on avoiding another depressive episode of someone who ain’t worth it.

He texted me,saying “i need your help”

Hell no.

I meant I would not respond to him.

Hopefully I am not annoying to you all. I am really happy more times than not and I am trying to nip my negative feelings in the bud. You guys really help me along my way. It feels great to have support and just people to talk to. I can’t imagine doing as good as I am if it weren’t for things several of you have said in my support. I have only cried hysterically a couple of times. Once when I was compiling all of the gifts and pictures from the relationship. The other time was when I reflected on the friendship that I once had with him.

My therapy session went extremely well. I didn’t need the box of tissues that we had for me. I decided in there that I will not accept or return any of his texts and calls. Although I would love to sit and tell him a few things, he would probably lie to me anyway. I’ve already given his nonsense years of my life.

On one of the rare times that he actually had me around his friends(I think I told yall this), he asked me to wear a mini skirt, halter top and high heels. That isn’t my style and it isn’t what I ended up wearing. He wanted a trophy and I wasn’t it. I consider myself an attractive woman but I downplay my appearance. I just like to look decent, nothing extra. He also asked me if I would be willing to smoke pot with him(I didn’t know that he did this) and to consume a large amount of alcohol(I only sip wine here and there). He said that it was “fine” that I wouldn’t smoke but he was very persistent with trying to have me drink more alcohol. It was like he didn’t like how I was socially and trying to change that too. I have nothing against people that drink for fun but I do movies, parks, social dancing, eating out, baseball games etc. Clubs aren’t for me. It will just take time for me to get over the feeling of being replaced. I think it is that last part that just leaves a bad feeling in the bit of my stomach knowing that something about me was something he didn’t really want (even though he is a POS, I lvoed him and those don’t just stop)

Numb, if he cannot respect the way you are, he is not the right guy for you. I do not like clubbing at all and I rarely wear mini skirt. But I do not think this is downplaying my appearance. I receive compliment from people all the time, especially from my boyfriend. Mini skirt is the lowest level to be sexy or trophy. I do not smoke or drink either, and I would say that’s how a lady should be. I would not feel sorry to lose a man like him, he sounds no class to me.

Yes you did… You think back like you have and you just ignored the warning signs.
The drinking, the provocative dressing..

Focus on the things thAt validate he was the wrong man for you.

Women tend to brush off red flags because they want the relationship so badly. That is what you did. I have done that in the past too.

Once you realize he was never a good fit for you, you will be grateful you didn’t waste anymore time with him. Out of something bad always comes something very good.