I'm sleeping with a married man

Honey, I am sure he tells all the women he has affairs with that he ‘loves them.’

The pig. You are falling for words and nothing more. This man is a player and he knows exactly what to say in order to get a woman into bed with him.

You ok with being sloppy seconds? Because I guarantee you despite what he says, he is having sex with his wife, and admittedly at least one other woman. I hope you used protection, because a man like this isn’t going to care about your heart let alone your health.

The way to judge a man is through his actions and how they match with his words. This man is telling you loud and clear that he only wants sex from you through only having sex with you and then going home to wifey.

I bet if you had a chance to speak with her she either knows he does this (and accepts it) or does not have a clue and thinks the marriage is just fine. Never believe it when a man tells you he has a bad homelife. This is the biggest con a man will use to suck you in and feel sorry for him.

By the way… this is not a judgment, just a wake up call. Have you ever had a man cheat on you? If not, you have no idea what this does to the woman. Your attitude about ‘whatever, I’m single’ is going to come back and bite you one day…. once you are with someone you love and he cheats on you like this – I guarantee you will be so mad at the other woman for doing this to you…

And… should you ever end up being with this man, or someone like him, he will cheat on you too. It a man cheats with you – he will also cheat on you. It’s just a fact.

Something to think about. Karma….

Please take care of you and work on your self esteem. You are basically settling for crumbs,unless all you are looking for is to be someone’s booty call. Regardless of who initiates, you are just a willing body to him.

Men do not bond with women through sex. It is simply an act. This Love phrase is all in your head. So what if he says it? He certainly isn’t even pursuing you (you said you are going after him) and he still goes home to his wife. Making you pretty much insignificant.

One thing you don’t repent on that I feel the need to bring up. You said you were cheated on in the past and now don’t care…. how about caring for the other WOMAN that you are hurting? Woman should not do this crap to other women.

Why would you take your hurt out on another woman? Who is guiltless of doing a thing bad to you….

Women should help elevate each other, not tear each other down and demean them.

I wish you happiness and hope that instead of taking out your own pain by hurting others, you turn that energy into something more positive such as helping others.

When my abusive man of 4 years cheated on me (with multiple women), I could have gone out and done the same to other women just to quench my bruised ego. Instead, I found a way to get past it by supporting/counseling other women who were coming out of abusive relationships. You see, I viewed the other women that my man had affairs with equally abused – at least emotionally. Because he used all of us and convinced us to be with him through lies, manipulation and deception.

Not unlike the man you are seeing. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors in his home. You are just another victim who he charmed into chasing him.. because he could smell your desperation for attention. The word ‘love’ does it every time, doesn’t it?

I’ve always wondered what it is that keeps single ladies bound with married men. Moreover, the ladies think of all over and over as a problem number 1 of their lives, unlike the married guys. Think of it: if he is pretty cool about the affair and its consequences, why would you get depressed? You’ll always have more options compared to him, since it’s you who’s single! Ask yourself a question: WHAT IS IT YOU WANT out of this bond?
1. Get him divorced at settle with you
2. Have someone to hook up regularly with no useless discussions and fights
3. Manipulate him because it’s going to increase your self-esteem
Do you really need any of these?
Why don’t you get you head out of your booty and enjoy every signle day of your life?

Ok, I have been there and done that more times than I care to mention. I understand being wrapped up in the moment and things happen. No one is thing straight in the moment, we are all in the feel good zone. But I have found in my experience that Men from foreign countries specifically Barbados and Nigeria often think of love _saying the word to win a women over. I also think they are into love at first site. Or at least saying it. We all know as mature women that this is ridiculous but it works for them. I will also say that relationships from other countries especially 3rd world countries tend to disrespect women. I think that in those 3rd world countries being married and having affairs is acceptable. Just my take on it.

Rachel,

I hope that you have managed to walk away and that you will have the inner strength to stay away.

You said that you know it’s wrong. Socially speaking you are right but something that you should be very aware of is that it is their relationship and not yours – I know you mentioned it but I just saw the word “wrong” in there so often that I just thought I’d point it out.

You seem to not value yourself as much as you could. My tipp for you is to use NLP. Make a list of everything you want in ykur next relationship or man (not the things you don’t want and refrain from using the word “not”). Try to use positive and clear words in your daily speech and try to ship around words which “water your use of language down” (like, maybe, something, might, should, must, not, someone, etc.).

There is a huge difference between saying “someone should do something” or “I will do this”. It will help you speak more clearly and thus be more confident.

Maybe you already know this, but if not I think it will help.

Good luck and lots of love

Mary