Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › I’m struggling with understanding his behaviour
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
Khadija.
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Violet
I posted about this recently. I’m struggling to come to terms with my partner (now ex) asking me to block him during a rather explosive fall out. A fall out which started because I said I don’t feel happy with the low level effort he puts on us & how he is constantly out partying, and refuses to spend much time with me. I felt of low importance. I wanted more. Rather than be met with him accepting my feelings he became angry and told me repeatedly to block him. I blocked him, because that’s what he wanted, however it really hurts. The urge to unblock is so strong. Yet, part of me keeps thinking that he wanted me out of his life so I have to respect that.
It’s been a few days now and all I’ve done is think of him. Why would someone want to be blocked over something as small as a partner wanting to see them more?FYI – his ex of 7 years never let him out the house. He said he was so in love and under the thumb now he’s so engulfed by being out with friends that he’s impossible to spend time with. I feel like his past relationship has caused him to be impossible to spend time with.
However, is it just me?
Is this a case of he’s just not that into you and you’re too blinded by emotions that you can’t realise, a mans refusal to spend much time with you, is because he genuinely doesn’t care that much.I’m really taking this hard.
Zoe
Why are you posting again?
kaye
Zoe, why are you so rude? She told you why she posted again…she’s struggling with the break up. Which is why most women post on here!!
Violet, how long have the two of you been dating? And how long after he broke up with his ex of 7 years did you start dating? I’m just thinking it’s possible you could be a rebound and he’s not emotionally ready to be in a committed relationship. Men will jump into a new relationship pretty quick after a break up, only to find themselves months later realizing they haven’t processed their feelings and then they want space, to take a break, etc.
Lane
I know your struggling but the hard cold truth is he is not ready for real relationship. He is still carrying around a lot of baggage from his last relationship and when you asked for more of his time, it triggered him in a very negative way, where he saw his ex in you, and he instinctively withdrew from you because he didn’t want to go through it again.
He most likely needs more *single time* and will only engage in short-term casual relationships where the moment the woman wants more, he will bolt!
Your *guydar* is way off, whereas you shouldn’t have to tell a man you need more time with him! If you have to ask a guy to spend more time with you then its a major neon sign telling you that he’s not in love with you. A man who’s in love NATURALLY (key word) wants to be with and spend a lot of time with you to the point YOU need some *space* from him!
I know breakups suck but this is why you need to be a better man picker because if you stay with the pick wrong one too long its going to hurt like heck. Need to learn how to protect your heart by walking away quicker or a man will run right over it leaving it in tatters.
Khadija
I’m sorry you are struggling with the break up.
Although you can’t see it now, this is for the best.Take everything one day at a time.
I would highly suggest finding ways to occupy your time.
It will take some time but, it does get better.
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