Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › I'm very worried for my friend
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
Maxxy.
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Maxxy
Hi looking for thoughts on something odd thats happening. My friend of over a decade has lost her child to covid. She is obviously absolutely in pieces. She told me last weekend that she has started up a relationship with the undertaker of her child’s funeral arrangements. I am so worried for her – she is single, as she and her husband split years ago. Surely this isn’t right ? She says she’s so grateful for all hes done for her child and its just sort of happened. She doesnt want to hear my concerns about it, saying sometimes good things can come from the very worst and I should be happy for her. I canthelp but feel this isn’t right and she’ll come crashing down again. She says when she’s with him she feels better
Newbie
Why are you posting here in stead of supporting your friend? Or go troll someplace else
Maxxy
I beg your pardon? I am spending huge amounts of time supporting and worrying about my dear friend! I am worried for her and have come here to ask if I should be worried shes taken up romantically with the funeral director as I am so worried shes shifted her hurt to him, and that he’s taking advantage and she’ll end up reeling from this. Its only been a few weeks and I feel shes in enough of a terrible state. Should I not be worried about this!Your reply is uncalled for!
Raven
Keep an eye on her… People find solace where they can.
LnJ
Maxxy, I don’t think any of us can give a helpful answer. You’re already worried, and I don’t think we can talk you down from that. You disapprove of what she’s doing and expect disaster. You may be right about that. But it also sounds like she’s made the decision not to listen to your advice about it. It’s very kind of you to care so much about her but I don’t think more worry will be healthy for you.
I am very sorry about her child. This is a situation that I can’t imagine.
AngieBaby
I know a woman who met her second husband shopping for a headstone after her first husband passed. He owned the headstone company! No kidding.
You never know.
It’s her life. She’s going to do what she wants and she has a right to. Is it just the situation that bothers you or have you seen real signs he’s taking advantage of her?
Maxxy
No I can’t say there’s anything I’ve seen that makes me think directly hes taking advantage of her. Hes been supporting the family including others like her ex and other child. He brought the ashes to them all together. I just feel he is a professional and she is in such a black space, and it feels not right to me. Shes overwhelmed with grief and shes now with the man who took care of her son after he passed away. I think shes with him because of the connection he holds to her son who is gone, and im so worried that its happened and if it ends. I wanted to know it is as shocking as I’m finding it. Surely the guy should know a person in the throws of grief doesn’t think the same will have potential to feel things that uaually they wouldn’t and has a responsibility to not sleep with their grieving client. I will support her whatever of course, im just so worried
Tallspicy
You should focus on your own life. Be there if she needs it, but just sooooo worried? Sounds like you are bringing drama.
cupcake
It‘s a weird situation i gotta admit, but your friend is an adult and if dating this guy (for whatever reason) helps her with her grief, that is her decision.
He is not her doctor, psychiatrist, carer or the like, so no i don‘t see how he has any responsibility not to date his client?!
As Tallspicey (and others have said), be there for her when she needs you, but focus on your own life.
Maxxy
Yes its true, however she said he may lose his job if it were known as he isnt expected to do such.That concerns me but no he isnt her therapist etc… thoigh I supposed im worried in a way he is in this situation. I am concentrating on my own life- ive come here for advice about this and I do indeed continue to live my life aside from this. She is a long standing close friend, devastated and I am really worried she’ll get hurt on top of this awful situation with her son. Its not about being dramatic iys about caring about someone im very close to
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