- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Ariane –
Listen… everything you describe here sounds like a great relationship.
You’re a virgin and in our present day culture, that’s unthinkable to many.
In all honesty, the place our culture is with sex is kind of screwed up. I know women who were virgins late into their 20s who eventually slept with a guy because they felt so much pressure from society over the years, as if they were wrong somehow to still be a virgin.
They regretted it. Regardless of all the chatter of society, being a virgin was right for them and going against what they felt was right for them was a mistake.
You are a virgin because it’s important to you. It is deeply meaningful and important to you and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m not saying being a virgin is right or having sex before marriage is right.
What I’m saying here is that it’s right for you, for your reasons and for who you are.
Now, let’s talk about the relationship.
For a man, love and sex are two entirely different worlds.
Sex is sex. It’s a strong appetite, it’s there and men deal with it in their own way as best they can.
You told him you’re a virgin on the second date and it goes without saying that it’s important to you.
If this was a dealbreaker for him, he’d be long gone.
And then you describe how many things make sense in your relationship.
You sound like people who understand each other’s life. You are living similar experiences, you probably have many similar values and you are mindful of growing together.
That IS love and relationship for a man. That’s great partnership.
For a man, love and emotional connection has a lot of overlap with your understanding of what’s meaningful to him and your ability to support him in his striving towards doing something meaningful in his life.
That partnership seems to be there, that understanding seems to be there, that support seems to be there.
That’s it, that’s what emotional connection and love is made of and that’s the ONLY reason men commit to a woman for longterm partnership.
It’s not sex. Sex is everywhere, that appetite can be satisfied in countless ways so it’s diminished the value of sex in relationship to nearly nothing.
What you have together is the true gold. Keep going with it, and more than anything, don’t worry about your virginity being a problem.
Sex is not rare. Partnership like you described is.
Men know how rare a good partner is in today’s world. You’re OK.
