Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › In Love with an Italian
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Liz Lemon.
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Jess
Hey everyone,
I am a student studying in Rome for my undergraduate. Here, I made a strong connection with a guy. Things have been going magical -even the “L word” has been communicated. However, I can’t help but stress about how the difference of our cultures, religion and the way we were raised are gonna be sources of conflict in the future. My family is quite conservative. Even if that wasn’t the case, being with someone from another nation is a whole another story. I am the type of person who is incredibly result-oriented. These stresses I have keep me from just enjoying the present. In this process, I understood that when you’re on the same wavelength with someone, no barriers matter. However, I also believe major differences about the way of living life cause problems in the long run.. I feel like I’m really stuck in a dilemma here.. Should I just end things now, even though I know it’s not going to make any sense to my significant other? I’m really having a difficult time going back and forth between my mind and heart.
Newbie
You dont say anything specific about the cultural and religious differences so i dont see how any can help. I mean just the fact your family is conservative should help us nudge you in a direction? And you conclude that the fact he is from another country gets you away from being result-oriented? To me it sounds like you are having issues with this guy being who he is and that makes you anxious. I dont see that end well if after you dealt with yourself you also have to deal with you family
Newbie
Oh he is italian. Lol they are about the most conservative nation in europe.
Liz Lemon
I assume you’re American? Without specific examples of how your differences will be a problem, it’s difficult to comment. Keep in mind there is a good chance that there will be differences in your upbringing with pretty much anyone you will date. Even if you date someone from the USA you can have cultural, racial, religious differences.
I think also, part of growing up is separating from your family and not letting them have so much influence over your life choices. So your family is conservative, so what. It doesn’t have to control your life choices. My bf’s parents are extremely religious and he is an atheist, lol. But he did tell me that his parents shoved religion down his throat growing up so it made him turn away from it. And yes it has been a source of conflict for them. He is still close to his parents but totally not on the same page as far as religion goes. People choose their own paths in life.
I’m not saying that you have to reject your family’s beliefs totally but you have to make your own decisions about what you want in life and that includes your partner. If you feel that you will have personal issues with who your partner is, that’s one thing. But if you love your partner but worry about what your family will think, maybe it means you should step back and evaluate what you want to prioritize. If it’s important to you to marry someone who is exactly like your family, that’s your choice. But maybe it isn’t that important. You’re in college so you’re young, this is all part of growing up and developing your adult identity.
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