In Relationships Should Guys Always Text First?

I agree with the above post. I am seeing a lot of these “early stages” dating rules carried on even when people are in relationships. After a year, you shouldn’t be playing these games, you should be comfortable texting him and I think a 75/25 split certainly needs to be evened out. I’m not sure why you think texting him would seem like you are pursuing him when you already have him.

You should have texted him as soon as you know the museum outing is about to end since you were the one to indicate “…but mentioned that I might come back over for dinner/a movie later.” You could have said along the lines of: “hey, I’m done with the museum, if you’re up to have dinner together and catch a movie, let me know so we can see which movie time works.” You’ve been together for a year. There should be a level of comfort on your part to feel free to text him without feeling it might change the dynamic of the relationship.

I’ve been with my BF a year as well. I mirror his actions. It’s a give and take. At this stage of our relationship, it’s not a contest or about who has more power or control or who should initiate more or less. It should be a balance. Your specific scenario would have no impact as to who is chasing who. It’s about following through your statement of “maybe”. Yes, he could have reached out as well. You are right on that one as well. Actually, you are both right and wrong of the way you both handled the situation. As you can see, nobody wins in this scenario. You are both adults and should be mature enough to realize that you both had no intention of keeping each other in “limbo”. You had a miscommunication based on both your sense of “expectation” of who should have followed up. Acknowledge it and then move on. Discuss how you two can improve your communication and assess your expectations in certain important aspects in your relationship. Nobody was intentionally being inconsiderate. Clueless maybe but we all get distracted and we all make poor judgment of the situation or in our actions.

It’s happened to me and my BF as well. He said, “if things aren’t crazy at work, I might come over either Wednesday or Thursday for dinner and hang out at your place.” This was a week ago Sunday night. I said, “that sounds good”. He didn’t mention it again when we spoke on Mon, Tues, and Wed. By Thursday morning, I took as a “no go” and went on with my day. Could I have reached out to see if his work day would allow him to come by as he thought of? Yes but I didn’t. Then at 4:56pm that day, I get a text saying, “should I come over?”. By the time I replied it was already 5:30pm and just finished my last conf call. I replied back and said, since he didn’t mention it again we we spoke, I assumed work was busy. It’s okay and that I’ll see him Saturday.” He said, he didn’t know until closer to 4pm that he would be able to leave work on time and he did say, “it’d be spontaneous”. I said, I didn’t expect it to be so spontaneously “last minute”. We both laugh about the miscommunication. There was no attitude, blame, or hint of annoyance. We’ve had two miscommunications that we both just cleared it up and establish an approach on how to resolve or approach them. Basically, when in doubt, unsure, confuse, JUST ASK!!! and don’t make assumptions.