initiating texts from a male perspective

I really am back to thinking it’s a culture thing. I’ve said it before…Europeans and Americans appear to have slightly diff rent takes on the dating game. Europeans are more 50/50.
0/50 re asking on dates and paying. .Americans appear to advise the guy does all the chasing.

Also Harley and buttercup I know yu guys have been around these boards for a while. Do you think you could take a look at my thread “I have no idea what to do” and give me you two cents worth. I’m so confused and upset and would appreciate any advice.

If I am interested in a guy, if I have not heard from him for may be 2 days, I will message him, if the messages stop again and he has not asked me out, then I delete him. If I don’t really feel any interest then I let him do all the chasing. Also if a guy has messaged me last, then I always reply to that message even if it is the next day.

Buttercup I asked my boyfriend this question not long ago, and he said had I not initiated in the beginning as much as I did he’s not sure he would have done all the work. I mentioned it to him because on the boards here it always says the girl shouldn’t. We were pretty much 50/50 and I think anyone would feel put off if they didn’t get some kind of communication back. Maybe it’s the people involved but I don’t think it should all be put on the guy.

I think it all depends on how you do it, you can initiate some contact, but there is a line where you become the chaser, or come off as needy. So I think as long as you aren’t blowing things up, a casual message it okay but if he doesn’t respond there is no need to send another.

When me and my guy first started talking, I actually initiated first, then he would initiate contact after that. But I don’t think it is a bad thing, to show interest in someone.

For me I reply one on one. For every one message sent or one text sent – one reply. If he ended the conversation the previous day, then I reply to it the next day. But that being said, if I am interested and say he does not message at all today when my last message was yesterday, then I would send something by the end of the day and leave it. If he replies or engages – great!! If not …. then NEXT!!!

But chatting/texting is not much on my part as I prefer to meet and talk. I am ok with phone calls may be a bit but meeting is my priority. I have stopped chatting with guys bec it seemed that they were too lazy to ask me out.

So there are 2 guys on the horizon right now ….

1) Guy 1 – 42 years … seems like a nice guy but let his ex walk all over him in the divorce. Even now most of his income goes to his ex …. long term I don’t know how that would work out … If we get together, would all the expenses would have to be paid by me just so he has money to pay his ex?? IDK .. that is something to think about for me. He doesn’t own a car as he lives in the city and uses the subway system. But he knows to drive and has driven his sister’s car or rental car etc. Also I intend to talk about his mom bec he said he has applied for immigration for her… so does that mean she will live with him?? If that is the case … he is out of the running … not doing that again. He has asked me out for dinner. I have still to give him the day I am free as I am quite busy this week and weekend.

2) Guy 2 – 47 years … 12 years my senior … not sure if that means a generation gap between us. We have not yet met and would be meeting for coffee on Sunday afternoon. He seems like a nice guy when I spoke to him with a good head on his shoulders. He has two teenage boys though. IDK about that … And he lives in the city about 1 hr driving … don’t know how that will work … Lets see though.

If I thought about it I would say bud starts the texts 95% of the time. He texts good morning and I respond. I only call when he asks that I call him. I think I have called him unprompted only three times. Once to tell him he left his tools at work. He calls almost every night. We talk for about an hour. Untill his phone looses service.
And when he calls in the morning we will talk untill he gers to work.
We talk about all kinds of things. Like hunting, cars, guns ( things he likes) or shoping, movies, books ( things I like) or work, crazy customers, bad managers. Today we talked about how he would love to go in to space and that he went sky diving, found out he hates rollercoasters and I hate hights and would not sky dive if you paid me but ilove rollercoasters. I seem to have gotten off topic sorry ladies.
It makes sence that a man would think the girl was not into him if she never contacted. But everything you read says don’t text first. I think it depends on the man. How comfortable you feel with him. I see nothing wrong with it so long as you dobt go phone-stalker crazy.