Insecure about boyfriends new coworker

Freaking out is only going to make matters worse as your insecurities will eventually bubble over and will say something to him that will be the death nell to your relationship—not because of her but because of you!

The one thing I’ve learned in life is you cannot control other people, you only have control over yourself. Also learning how to effectively communicate with your partner by calmly discussing many topics, such as cheating, in a mature adult manner will get you much further than bottling it up and then exploding, which men refer to as “emotional vomit.”

Here’s where women go wrong in vetting men because they are more concerned about the goal of being in a relationship with them (aka ‘love struck) that they don’t take the time to learn about their overall character to determine if he’s someone worthy of being in a relationship with! These are the type of discussions you have BEFORE you enter into a relationship by asking if they’ve ever cheated, what their thoughts on cheating are, or what has or would motivate them to cheat, etc.

Not all men cheat but many do and unfortunately there is nothing you can do to stop a man who wants to do it for a variety of reasons that may or may not have anything to do with their partner but something with themselves that motivates them to do it even in a good relationship! Trust me, it doesn’t matter what she looks like because not all men want to be with “Barbie’…like my very good male friend once told me “We look at women like art, just because we like what we see doesn’t mean we want to buy it” meaning their is more to a woman than being beautiful or pretty (like art) that makes him want to be with a woman.

Bottom line, if you don’t trust him then do him a favor and breakup because your constant fear he’s going to cheat will be what eventually drives him to cheat or breakup with you as it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. I’ve been cheated on but I don’t have the care to constantly worry if my BF is going to cheat because that’s not the type of ‘energy’ I want to fill my relationship with but the kind where after a number of discussions on the subject I trust him to do the right thing. He knows my feelings on the subject where I told him if you feel compelled to cheat at least have the courtesy to discuss it with me beforehand. By taking away the taboo of cheating without giving them permission to do it is a form of reverse psychology by taking the fun out of it lol.

Lane,that is good advice thank you. But I’ve been in those situations where I would talk about it before dating a man and he would still do it.

I’m not saying that’s happening here, it’s just so much harder than I thought. I’m intimidated by this woman honestly. She is just very pretty. I feel like the second she walks into work I’m going to lose him.

What makes you think someone that pretty and amazing is going to want to be with your boyfriend?

He works in the sports industry, she’s on his team. What does that mean? Is he part of the coaching staff? It would look poor on him if he messed around in such a work dynamic.

Distance relationships may not be for you if you’re overly insecure/paranoid, because they require more trust than usual. But since you’re already in one, if your bf knows about your history then he might be understanding of your feelings and be happy to reassure you. Talking to him, I dare say, is the most effective way to get rid of your anxious feelings. Of course, whether you say what you feel or use strategy largely depends on the kind of person he is and level of transparency/understanding you two have established in the rship.