Interested but doesn't make plans to see me??

This is the exact situation Im into right now. What you shared here just slapped me on the face! Ouch! He said he’s interested too but doesn’t make any efforts to go out with me. I would sometimes get a “hahahahaha” replies from him which makes me think that he really does not want to talk or ask about me. It’s funny and irritating sometimes on how they can just throw the “im interested” line when in fact they aren’t. Ugh

For the most part, I agree with the other ladies. Actions usually speak louder than words. However…does he have his own kids? If he’s a single parent as well, he may have trouble coordinating things so that he can see you between work and caring for children and going to their activities. If that is the case, then I would see having a date every 10-14 days as good effort on his part since he’s making time to see when you he can. My advice would be different if he was single, or if he was a busy man who only saw you every month or so. Ten to 14 days is making a regular effort to see you.

Year old post , bumped up by Phan.

Hello all,

Funny to see my question posted more than 1 year ago pop up again. A little follow-up: this guy was NOT INTERESTED! He was just fading away,and I let him go.

One year later, I realise how much I have learned about dating and relationships just by reading this forum and some other stuff that have been recommented here. Thank you girls! I would definitively not wonder anymore whether or not he was interested. It is so true that when a guy is into you, it is OBVIOUS. No questioning, no wondering. Liberating!

Marie – I am never a big belieber in asking “what are you looking for”…. when guys ask me that, it always come across as being insecure and a turn off to me…

Plus the fact that they could think they are ready and then 2 months in realize they really or not….

Or vice versa

It’s absolutely not normal. I’m not even dating the woman I’m seeing – we’re more friends with benefits and I still try to see her 2 times a week (I would make it more but she has kids)

If I was dating somebody my age with no kids who hopefully worked a reasonable job, I would love to be able to see her 3-4 times a week. I have 2 12 hour work shifts so I’m not available at all those 2 days but I would love to be able to see her 4 out of the other 5 days

I’ve been seeing this guy for 2 months now and I see him 2 times every week but it’s always me arranging it also he lives a hour away I’m always driving down to see him. He’s never comes to mine or even pick me up. Ino this sounds so silly but I went out on a night out and the next day I was meant to be staying at his and I was so rough I couldn’t drive as I was still positive I asked him kindly would he pick me up and his reply was I’m not coming all the way to yours to go back to mine its just a waste of fuel and it made me so angry and hurt cause ino if that was me I would of been like of course! Also he’s all about his friends I understand we all have are friends there but like he literly puts the lads before me he once sent me out the house in the morning with no breakfast or nothing and before i went he was worrying about his mates breakfasts saying I need to make sure I make them food, like I thought what about me? I don’t wanna sound mad but it’s just anoying cause I feel like I put more effort in than him. Can someone please tell me what they think by this I need advice?

You know you’re just a home delivered booty call right? He doesn’t even respect you. For him you’re just a person he stratches an itch with. Ands it’s great because be doesn’t even have to exert himself. You do all the work n he just takes. Develop some self respect and backbone and dump him already!!!

Not all guys are the same. If he isnt making plans with you nicely let him know you have noticed he does not seem to like making plans and ask why. He may not answer honestly initially but at least it lets him know youre thinking about it. There could be a huge variety of reasons he is not making plans consistently. It would be a mistake to assume the only reason is that he is not into you. If he has no children, for example, he may be a bit hesitant about getting too involved if he is not sure the family lifestyle is for him. If he has had a codependent relationship in the past he may be worried about losing his freedom. Even if he has feelings for you there are a lot of factors at play in all of our relationship decisions. If he does not show interest in discussing it with you or does not try harder to make plans with you after you tell him how you feel (briefly and not blaming) then it is up to you to decide if you like him enough to put up with it. General psych rule is men take longer than women to process their feelings. a large number of men that are dating (just like women) do not know exactly what they want even if they are interested. Shoot I date and have male friends and sometimes I think I want to get married and others I dont want a penis anywhere near me. Does not change how I feel about whoever I am seeing but it may change my behavior toward them. A broad generalization such as “men are ALL about actions” is to write off our individuality. I dont know about you but I am not willing to do that. Each person and each relationship is unique.

Thank u Brianna for the reply I actually spoke to him about his past he told me his last two relationships he was hurt badly and he said after that he said he wouldn’t run after a girl and that he want someone to run to him if uno what I mean. I understand he’s been hurt but I’ve also been hurt myself. He told me he is set in his ways as he’s been on his own for 2 years. He messages me everyday but we never speak on phone as he prefers to text. He is lovely to me but I just feel like he’s just a bit lazy with the whole getting committed even my family have said why does he never come to you so it made me feel rubbish as I’m always makeing excuses for him.

He is somewhat interested, but not enough to make it worth your time. I would stop seeing him, unless you are ok with an indefinite future of dates that only occur every few weeks and at his convenience. If he were deeply interested, he would see you more frequently.

Thank u briana I just read your message and agreed with everything you wrote I understand what your trying to say and I’m glad I’ve heard this cause now I get it. Everyone will act the way they act no one can change that but ino what u mean if it’s hurting me let go. But I think I need to relax cause like u said he’s never been nasty he is always nice to me and really chilled out and about the friend thing never thought of it that way. What will be will be. Thanks so much:)

Recently started dating a man age 40 after my divorce. He doesn’t initiate dates etc (only at the beginning). I have seen him 6 times in 2 months. I have mentioned it but he says he’s busy with work. He sees his friends regularly and is always out for dinner with work etc. I do like him. He’s never been married and has no children. I have decided to get rid and delete his number. Life is far too short for situations like this. I can mange work, a social life and children. He really has no excuse.