Interested coworker or just friendly?


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  • This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 8 years ago by Kira9315.
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  • #447654 Reply
    StellaBleu

    Hello all, I am new to this site, going to try to make my ramble as short as possible as it’s kind of a long story.
    I’ve been working with this guy in my department for about 9-10 months now. We got along great from the start, with same sense of humor and interests, we can joke around but also be very serious and he seems to have made me the main focus. Our department is small, so everyone knows everyone well, even on all 3 shifts ( we work the same shift obviously)
    This male coworker is younger, by 13 years but has no issue with the age difference. From the start he was pretty obvious about liking me, all of our coworkers seem to know it as well.We just *get* each other. But…..there are always different kind of likes, i’ts trying to figure out if it’s a romantic interest or not. Here’s our lowdown, so to speak.

    We have great communication, that includes lots of eye contact that remains in focus during the whole conversation, as well as just gazing into each others eyes without a word as one of us will walk past the other one.

    During the winter when our company was reducing hours, his would get cut and he had mentioned a few times that during our lunch break on his day off he might drive down with his dog so he could show everyone. This is when he had asked for my number so he would call ahead of time to let me know that he was on his way. ( he never ended up making that extra trip, nor has he called or texted me. I will however say that currently he doesn’t have a phone and was going to use a family members phone, so possibly that might be the reason he hasn’t contacted me that way)

    He teases me on a daily basis, about everything under the sun pretty much…and he’s loud about it, making sure that everyone in the room knows that he’s teasing and talking to me. He also spends his breaks with me, often side by side,even if we are just reading our books. Any chance he gets to start up a conversation, he does so and often times it feels like it’s just the 2 of us in the room.
    So for awhile he had been talking to me about my gym membership ( one I had been paying for monthly but not been going to the gym as I hate to alone) He too use to have a membership a couple years prior to the same gym. One day he was teasing me so badly about me not using the membership and that it was a waste of money that I should just cancel it ( he knew the reason I wasn’t going, as it’s the one thing I rather have someone with me, even if they are not talking much, just like the company) He wouldn’t let up on it, but he said that he understood, as he was the same exact way. This was Friday. Come Monday, we are all doing our stretches in the department before our workday and he comes in and says in front of everyone “Guess what I did this weekend?” Nobody had the correct guess of course. He looks at me and shows the card on his keychain and says ” I got that gym membership so now you will have someone to go with and we are going as soon as possible” …we indeed started that day after work. Fast forward to 2 months later. We made it a weekly plan of working out on Mondays and Wednesdays, today after we were done and walking to our cars he mentions how good he felt and that we should work out a little bit tomorrow after work as well. I also want to mention that while at the gym, there was this guy that had his eye on me, I mentioned this to my coworker while we were there and asked if we could pick machines that were away from this other guy. My coworker, I will call him Gemini teased me about it and of course when we were at work the next day, he couldn’t wait to tell everyone had I had a secret admire at the gym and teased me the hell about this other guy. I told Gemini that I wasn’t interested in this other guy, that he wasn’t my type. Gemini on another day came to me and asked me ” what if he asks you out?” I said I wasn’t interested in this other guy. Gemini wanted to know why. He wasn’t teasing me about it when he was asking all these questions, he seemed to really want to figure out and find out what my type was.

    I will also mention that he has also made accounts to play the same online games as I do, after I was telling him about the ones that I play the most and I can’t help but feel like h’es trying to get a stronger connection. He has asked personal things as well, if I live alone or with family or……..trying to see if I am involved with anyone. I am seperated and have made this fact known to him, he understands the situation. He teases me everyday almost and one time while teasing had mentioned about going to the movies, but he said it in a way that was just teasing, maybe to avoid rejection I think.

    I’m sorry for making this longer than I first intended to. I just wanted to put enough information into this so people could have information to base their opinion on.
    This man has a ready smile everytime he sees me, his face lights up and his eyes get big. People at work think we are going together, some even mentioned that they thought that we were a married couple because they said that is what we act like. We get along great, we *get* each other in a way that other people don’t and we are not trying to work at it, it just comes naturally and easily. He’s been trying to get us to go to the gym more often, trying to find ways to spend time other than during work hours.

    I’m trying to figure out if he’s interested in more than friendship and am asking others what they might think, based on my long ramble of information.

    Have a blessed day all

    #447656 Reply
    redcurleysue

    This man really really likes you…that is soooooo obvious.

    Past that it is hard to tell….he may very much like you as a friend and someone to hang with. But I get the impression that there may be more under the surface.

    I think one man said it best, “if I am talking to you I am interested.”….I guess that makes it plain…lol.

    But seriously, if he has not asked you out there is something holding him back. What? Does not want to wreck the friendship? Does not date people he works with? Just out of a relationship? I don’t know what but something.

    He is totally coming at you like a friend – a good friend. That is nothing to sneeze at since I believe friendship should be the basis of all good romantic relationships.

    I would not assume anything at this point. I would continue to treat him as a friend and see where it goes. He has to make the move past that….if he does not then date others and keep this wonderful friend.

    #447661 Reply
    StellaBleu

    He has mentioned that he hasn’t been in a relationship for about 8 years, the last one he had ended badly and I don’t mean normal kind of bad, but in court kind of bad. I know the situation and I understand it.
    There had been times when it felt like he was going to ask me out but I could see the hesitation like he was afraid of rejection. I think he isn’t getting my hints that I like him. The first time we went to the gym he acted like a gitty school girl and the next day he was extra friendly and helpful. The next time we were at the gym, he had mentioned that his mom wanted to come with but had to cancel because something else came up. I said that would be fine, anytime she wanted to show up and join us.
    One time I was having a horrible day and he asked if I wanted a hug, told me ” I give really good hugs”.

    I think that something that you were referring to is the fact that he’s kinda shy when it comes to romantic relationships and his comfort zone is knowning that we can hang out and be bestfriends. He gets loud in the room trying to get my attention when other guys that he thinks like me come to talk to me ( even if it’s just about work). He waits for me so we can walk to the time clock together and to our cars. He hides nothing.
    I think he may not be too sure in the way that I like him and that is the reason he is holding back.

    Thank you so much for your response!

    #583300 Reply
    Kira9315

    I know he must like you a lot because thats the way I act with a person I like. Like almost like a puppy wanting to play.
    yea hes probably just gauging the situation.

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