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Tallspicy.
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Kelly
So I’ve known. this guy for about 2 months now. He lives nearby and we would sometimes get coffee, catch up about life or go out and do stuff(in a friendly way). There were some light touches here and there but I didn’t give it too much thoughts as he’s just a really friendly person to everyone.
Last week I hosted a housewarming party and invited him. He came and there were some behaviours that made me think he might be into me more than a friend?
He greeted me with a full body hug and a kiss on the cheek (tho it’s the first time he did that to me. It’s pretty normal European greeting so I didn’t give it too much thought)
He dragged me to the side twice while I was busy talking to other people at the party just to ask me trivia questions while giving me this deep gaze.
He just randomly hugged me (a full body, long hug) it felt warm and fuzzy so I hugged him back.
When saying goodbye, he came up to me twice – first time he came up hugged me with a kiss on the cheek and the second time he gave me a bear hug and planted a kiss on my forehead saying he had a blast.
And after he got home he texted me and said thank you, asked if I had a good time and said he owes me a drink/let’s do the museum tour this week. (Something we’ve talked about before the party)
The mixed signal is…his communication is patchy. I asked to pencil it in and he took almost two days to reply and told me he’s all booked out this week and we could do next week. I told him that’s okay I’m still going to the museum this weekend then he replied saying “what time/date? I’ll make it work and join.”
I’m really puzzled. Your analysis and suggestions would be super helpful! Xx
Gaia
If you like this guy just roll with it. Go to the museum, have fun, live in the moment. Stop overthinking every touch or gesture. It sounds like he suggested an idea, you liked it, he couldn’t schedule it but will make it happen. Actions speak louder than words.
Seems to me he is interested. And most guys don’t text constantly. It’s actually a good thing. It means they have lives, work, hobbies, etc.
tallspicy
I would say kind of interested, and not enough. He seemed interested, but is not locking down a time to see you alone.
Actions do not speak louder than words. Actions and words must match and if they don’t believe the one that is less committed.
tallspicy
Not impressed with the 2 day delay. Makes it pretty wishy washy. Don’t get your hopes up and make him do the work
Kelly
“Make him do the work” as in, let him plan things/ask me out?
Tallspicy
Yes.
Ewa
mixed feelings about this guy, to me he isn’t interested in anything romantic or he is playing hard to get and not trying to look too keen. Was he drunk at that party? if so that would explain a lot.
you only live once so instead of reading his mind find out where you stand with him. If you are ok just being friends then don’t have high hopes , if you want something more then let him know.Kelly
I don’t think he was drunk as he was able to text me afterwards. But maybe a little tipsy? We both had a few drinks. The forehead kiss could simply be platonic affection.
So far he’s rejected all my invites to join me at movies which I took as a sign that he’s not interested romantically.
I forgot to mention that he’s always been slow in texting and is an extremely sociable person.
Ewa
ah ok, so maybe he is like that with other girls too I would just enjoy his company as friends for now then. It seems like he knows you are interested but he isn’t doing much about it, so to me he isn’t interested on anything more than just being friends.
what do you know about his relationship status etc?Kelly
I am also an extremely sociable and friendly person so inviting guy friends to movies isn’t exactly a romantic act in my books. But I assume most people would take it as a romantic initiative?
Yes he’s naturally playful and flirtatious and said he needed to be more mindful of not sending the wrong signals.
He’s out of a long term relationship that ended badly since almost 2 years ago. We’ve not talked about if he’s dating anyone right now. Seems like his focus is on his career at the moment cause we talk a lot about work and future projects. It seems he’s extremely busy – mostly networking for business.
I don’t think he’s in a good place to date seriously tho as last time he talked about his past relationship it was obvious he’s still scarred by it and he called it an “traumatic” event.
I’m also not in a good place to start a relationship either. I just want to know a potential date really well as friends before I dive in. My gut was telling me there is some level of mutual attraction.
Liz Lemon
“I don’t think he’s in a good place to date seriously tho as last time he talked about his past relationship it was obvious he’s still scarred by it and he called it an “traumatic” event.
I’m also not in a good place to start a relationship either.”
So why pursue anything?
It sounds like this guy is flirty and friendly but by your own admission not looking for a relationship. People often flirt because it feels good, but have no intention of anything serious or moving anything forward. That’s probably what’s happening here. If he wanted to date you, he would not have turned down multiple invitations to go to the movies with you. I find that to be a pretty straightforward indication that he is not interested. A guy who is interested in dating a woman will go out with her.Kelly
I think I’m pursuing a solid friendship first and foremost while assessing if there is romantic potential. I enjoy his company and would love to hang out more. I think the kiss on the forehead thing set off the alarm for me because it felt good and I’d like to know his intention.
I guess it’s time for a talk…
Tallspicy
You are way overthinking this. It seems like he is a flirty friend. I suggest you stop thinking about him, and both just treat him like a friend and let him lead if there is something romantic. Do not read into what was most likely unintentional. There is no intention.
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