Is 4 dates in 2 weeks too much?

I’d be suspicious of him bringing you over to his place to make out on the 2nd date, and him trying to get you to his place so he can cook dinner for you on the next date. I dunno, it seems like he’s trying to get into your pants. I’m sure if you were willing, he would have slept with you on the 2nd date. Which doesn’t make him a bad guy– it just makes him a guy– you just have to be clear what you’re looking for.

Have you talked about what you’re looking for? If your spidey sense is tingling, then maybe something is off….do you feel like he’s just trying to get you into bed, or do you feel he has a genuine interest in getting to know you and possibly building a relationship?

I would say, if you like him and want to date him, great; just have a firm boundary in your mind of whether you’ll sleep with him or not. I’m willing to bet that after your furniture shopping date, he’ll either try to get you to his house, or want to come to yours.

Four dates in two weeks is a bit much for someone you just met. From what I’ve read the general rule of thumb is to see a person once a week when you first start dating– that way you don’t create a feeling of false intimacy and rush into things. It’s better to be balanced. As things progress and get more serious (you’re dating exclusively, etc), then you start seeing each other more.

I think it’s too soon to tell, yet. Agree with Liz, if you’re uncomfortable and something feels off, don’t dismiss those feelings. But if you’re confident in sticking to your own boundaries about pacing and in communicating those, and you like him so far, get to know him a little better and see if you’re still interested. Early dating is about getting to know someone and deciding if they might be a good fit for you to get more serious with (and vice-versa), which is exactly what you’re doing.

I find it a red flag when guys are trying to move too fast and over-contacting you and idealizing you and it’s clearly projection and you could be anyone: they want sex, validation, or are lonely, and see you as making them feel good or saving them. But, some guys just know what they want and get excited about finding it, and only enough time and observing consistency (and trusting your instinct) will reveal which it is.

In my experience personally, when it’s all about the guy projecting rather than building a connection, and you try to pace things slower, they’ll show true colors or flake out pretty quickly. If it’s for real though, they won’t do that and you won’t feel confusion or red flags.

I echo what Liz said. Be sure to talk to him about what you’re looking for and confirm what he’s looking for. If he tries to come in and make out again, then I’d lean more towards him trying to get to sex sooner than later. Keep us updated.

Okay ladies you were right haha

So we did go to his place and he did initiate sex. Maybe it’s because I’ve been single for a whole year, I wanted it too.

After that we went out for a long walk together, came back and he made me dinner and we watched a show together. He then drove me back home.

I was really tired so I didn’t text him last night and woke up to a text from him saying ‘have a good day at work :)’

I replied joking back to him.

I asked him if I could treat him for his help with the furniture yesterday and he said don’t worry you don’t need to treat me

I have no idea where to go from here, maybe it will fizzle out?

I’ll be honest with you I didn’t bring it up again.

But at the start we both said we were looking for relationships, he’d only ever been in one for a year and I’d only ever been in one for 4 years.

He told me he wanted to go travelling with a girlfriend, and when discussed mutual interests and I told him I was the opposite, he told me in the past he minded but recently he thinks it might be nice to be in a relationship with someone opposite.

Things sounds good so far, just ensure you know what he wants out of this to avoid being mislead or fall into assumptions and then you get hurt when he starts pulling away or give mixed signals.

As for where you left off, it is always advisable to let him contact you again and ask to see you, however it’s not wrong to initiate a convo so as to not be too quiet on your end. But he must reach out to you as well. Take Liz Lemon’s advice very carefully and have a good time dating. 😉

Ladies, a few days after he hit me with the ‘what are you looking for and what are your expectations’?

I told him I want to date and see if this becomes something long term. He told me he wants something casual.

The funny thing is he went into this whole thing about he thinks we slept too quickly or else he would’ve talked to me about this earlier and he felt like we shouldn’t have slept together. Making it sound like he didn’t initiate anything and we kind of just fell into it?

I told him that he was confusing because he came on really strongly and did the relationshipy stuff not me. He said he wanted to tell me now he wanted casual so I don’t expect anything else from him.

I feel like I got played?

I mean I don’t regret the sex, honestly after a year of being single I didn’t mind that. What does piss me off is the backtracking on the things he did and how he never meant anything more than casual and that I was misunderstanding him and he was doing me a favour by telling me now?

I don’t see where he did “relationship-y stuff”? It was pretty clear he just wanted to get you into bed.

It stings I know! It’s a learning experience. Next time when a guy just wants sex you’ll recognize the signs better. At least this guy had the decency to tell you outright that he just wants casual & didn’t string you along letting you think something else.