Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › is 9 years age difference acceptable?
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Just curious.
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Jenny
I met this guy over online dating, him 29 and am 20, and I was wondering if a 9 years age difference is acceptable..I am more attracted to older men, usually up till age 26 maximum, but I have been chatting up with this guy and we are really hitting it off! Hopefully, we will meeting up soon. Am a university student and he is a working and am kind of worried that could be a huge difference factor.
red
I’m going to say no, it does not matter. I’m 42 and I’m dating a 30 year old man I met online. Really, it depends on how compatible you are. 6 months ago I would have never imagined I’d be some cougar dating a dude 12 years younger than me….but we have a ton in common and get along supurbly. This man changed my whole outlook on age differences.
I can’t speak to the opposite situation (older man younger woman), but if the shoe fits…wear it!
Good luck:o)Alexis
It’s acceptable in legal terms. That’s great that you guys are hitting it off. The saying that age is just a number is a little overrated. I’ve dated younger guys and have realized that we are on different stages of our lives.
I can’t tell you what to do but I will say you two are at different stages of your life. And that can affect how you interact with each other. I will share you my experience. When I was 21, I dated a 27 year old. I went to school in NJ and he worked as a police officer in DC. I would always see him when I came home for breaks and every other weekend. He would always call me while he was at work and in between my classes. We were both able to live our lives. He even asked me to be his girlfriend, of course I said yes. 4 months into the relationship everything went wrong. All the lovey dovey stuff stopped. I went to live in Paris for a few months and he rarely called me. Found out he was involved in some baby mama drama. So I cut him loose. This left me devastated. After coming back from Paris, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, and I didn’t get out of bed. The only thing that got me out of bed was going back to school. Fast forward 4 years later. I’m 25 and laugh at the fact I was 21 and seriously in love with a 27 year old. I asked my parents about it and why they didn’t stop me. Their answer was…”of course we were concerned about you dating this 27 year old. But we wanted you to figure it out yourself.”
With that being said….I know you like older men (I do too) but you should also see guys around your age. Trust me I know what it’s like to be 20 and have a hard time dating guys around your age. He’s pushing 30 and might have a different mindset than you. I wouldn’t advise to dump him because of his age. But just play it by ear, see how things go.
patsytshirt
it depends where you are in life. when I was 19 I dated briefly a 29year old guy but it didn’t last, he already had a kid and an exwife, he wanted sex and pressured me and I was a virgin, I just wanted to go to the movies, concerts and makeout, it was too much drama to deal with a man like him, he dumped me and found a fugly girl who would do the kamasutra with him and take care of his kid lol. After that experience I only dated guys my age or younger.
Amy S
Hi I think if you are a mature person for your age it could work fine. You have to just go for it with the person u like and see what happens. I certainly wouldnt dismiss a person just because of his age. Well within reason lol x
Serena
Hi Jenny,
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I believe if you’re asking this particular question – you may be uncomfortable with his age…
I personally don’t think it’s an issue (to each their own) but I’m an ageist and don’t date more than 4-5 years older or more than 3 years younger. I don’t look my age so I’m a bit crazy with a guy looking much older than me. But that’s just me. :)
Tutu
My late husband was 9 years older than me. I met him when I was 27 and he was 36, divorced 2 sons. 3 years later we got married and still in love until he passed away 8 years later.
So it’s not the age thing. If you find love then go for it.
Rose
It depends a lot on the people involved. I get along pretty awesome with younger male but I relate a lot more to mature people my age and older.
grace
hi
Ms. Good Intentions
I am going to say yes, you need to be cautious! It isn’t the 9 years, it is the fact that you are in COMPLETELY different phases of your life, and hard to imagine you have a lot in common. You should be enjoying college age men, you will NEVER again be around as many eligible men as you are now, and the smart women be picking the best guys. At almost 30, he is wise to the world, and you are almost like a fetish to him as the young nubile woman. I suspect his interests are primarily sexual, and he likely feels he can manipulate a younger woman.
Just be careful, and obviously I would encourage to date men closer to your own age/experience range. If you were 29 dating a 38 year old, no issues, as you are both essentially in the same life stage.
gobi
no one can give you a black and white answer babes, you just need to see how it goes, it either works or it doesn’t.
don’t let him go coz of his age, give him a chance
Anon
This post is more than a year old…
Curious Minded
Can we get an update? You guys still together?
Me
Me and my bf has age difference of 6years….Is there any problem in having relationship??
L
Only if you are 15
Anon
I was 21 when I met my 30 year old boyfriend. I was nervous about the age gap. However, we ended up married. I am now 29 and he is 38. We have great chemistry and that is all that should matter. Although I don’t believe more than 10 year age gap is healthy. You wouldn’t really have much in common at that point. You lived across different decades and may not have grown up with same music interests, etc.
Just curious
If you get along well, then no problems
How about a man who is 25 and a woman who is 44?
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