Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Is he bluffing?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by redcurleysue.
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Maria
Hi everyone, I have an ex situation that needs sorting out. I got out of a toxic relationship 4 months ago, we were in love but neither of us were ready, especially me. During those 4 months of being broken up, we were talking on and off and I was actually doing a great job of letting him go. Around the time self isolation began, I decided to completely cut him off because I wanted to remove exes from my life since I don’t think it’s healthy. I blocked him for about 2 weeks and then unblocked him for whatever reason, honestly I didn’t think he would even reach out to me. He ended up texting me shortly after I unblocked him and we started talking, then we met and hooked up. After hooking up he began texting me first and I thought things would head in the right direction. Truthfully, I still have feelings for him and I thought he might change his mind about us.
We got in an argument over our feelings and he told me he still cares about me but doesn’t feel the same romantically. I truly think he is lying because he has no reason to text me certain things but he still does, all of my friends see it as him finding excuses to still talk to me. For example, he texted me a few days ago to ask my opinion on something when he could have asked anyone else. I mean, I believe if he truly did not care and was over me then he wouldn’t talk to me at all, right? He has a lot of friends and I know he talks to other girls so I don’t really see why he wants to keep me around, especially since he knows I still have feelings for him.Dyanne“I mean, I believe if he truly did not care and was over me then he wouldn’t talk to me at all, right? He has a lot of friends and I know he talks to other girls so I don’t really see why he wants to keep me around, especially since he knows I still have feelings for him.”
For easy sex? For ego boost? For having someone to talk to anytime he wants? Etc etc
He might still care for you, but not enough to get back together. And you said it was a toxic relationship, why do you want to go back to that? What changed that makes you think this time it won’t get toxic again?NewbieIf you felt you were doing such a great job at letting go, then why did you totally erase the effort you were proud of by letting him getting in your head again? Your own actions are working against you. Based on wrong assumptions: you think he is lying in not caring about you. Guys who want a woman dont lie. They go for what you want. Youre just an easy target because he knows you have feelings for him.
You have to train your brain to do what is actually right for you. For example with cognitive behaviour therapy because this time its all your own actions that brought you right back to what you called toxic. Such a waste for youkayeIt was TOXIC! You got out 4 months ago, were doing good at cutting him off then for some unknown reason you unblock him and hook up with him!! WHY? WHY? WHY? You admitted yourself it was unhealthy keeping in contact.
What reason does he have to lie? A man who cares about you and wants you back isn’t going to tell you he doesn’t feel the same about you romantically when he knows you still have feelings for him!! That’s crazy.
But a guy who wants to keep you on the back burner for easy sex while he’s talking to other women will. He’s being honest with you and you are clutching at straws trying to reason that he wants you back. He’s stringing you along because he can. It’s still toxic. Why can’t you understand a man can “care” about you but it doesn’t mean they want to be in a relationship with you.
redcurleysueI do not do reruns.
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