Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is he breadcrumbing me?
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 9 months ago by
Kalyn.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Miz_Ty
I’ve been dating this guy for over 2 months now and all of a sudden he behavior has shifted and I feel like I am being benched. Up until a week and a half ago, we’ve talked on the phone for hours everyday and he would flood my phone with text messages. Talks of relationship was on the table and we both agreed to take things slow and are working towards exclusivity. Late one night he received a phone call and I asked who it was and he refused to show me. I left him and 15 mins later he sent me a screen shot of the person who called. I know he changed the contacts name to be deceptive. He reached out to me and that he behaved because he was caught off guard and should not have behaved that way.
The next time we hungout, I asked to look at his phone only (not going through his messages), that’s when I seen many text conversations with women. He said they’re friends so I dismissed it.
Fast forward to recent week, he barely called and text anymore and when we did talk it was very short and brief.
Yesterday afternoon, we spoke on the phone for 20 mins about his health because he wasn’t feeling well. Did not here from him the rest of the day until I woke to a text message from him 1:30 am “Hey Baby! Hope all is well! IMU beautiful! emoji heart kissing.
The issue with this text is the content… Usually when you text “hope all is well,” it is a checkup to a person you have not spoken in awhile.
I did not respond to his message and in the morning received another text “Good morning beautiful! Just wanted to give you update that I’m feeling a whole lot better!!!”
What do you guys think, is he seeing someone else and breadcrumbing me?Newbie
If you felt his attention shift then im 100% sure you are right certainly at this time frame. The messages to girls are not really that important because you havent even agreed to being exclusive. I would start there. Have a talk about how he views this progress. In sure he will make excuses as why he cant commit and there you have your answer and move on. Its better than judging texting and then rationalizing it away again
Miz_Ty
@Newbie We had conversations about being exclusive and how he see us in that light and I assumed we were. He also said that I am the perfect woman for him and how he imagine us being married. He made statements in the past that he “love me” and hope that it did not scare me away. He’s saying all the right things but is acting funny and treats me like an option instead of priority like before. I have to trust my intuition and have a higher standard and should never let someone make me feel like I am an option. I guess I know the answer but needed assurance that I am not overthinking and not being rational.
Newbie
When its in the early stages of dating you have to remember the most recent events and forget about before that. Guys have a timeframe where they decide to go all in or not and that happens around 3 months. Whats said before that usually is kind of in the moment. His recent behaviour is showing he is looking around, and him barely contacting you. Plus you are acting controlling asking who is this and that. All signs its not working out. This is not so much breadcrumbing but dating fizzling out soon. Like i said, ask him
T from NY
I’ve mentioned before – the most anxious times in dating (I think) are the early stages if you like a guy and just before knowing if you’ll be exclusive OR when your man goes quiet and acts out of routine or character. And believe me my advice is difficult for me to follow – but at those times I think it’s crucial to attempt to go quiet yourself. Step back and see what the man does. It’s only been a week and a half. Yes the writing might be in the wall he’s fading (even after all he’s said to you). Men do that. They live in the moment and make decisions later. Women could learn from that.
All I’m saying is – I know it’s hard and easy to get the frets right now. But if you can practice patience he will SHOW YOU how he’s feeling. Sit back to see if he sets up dates. See if he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend, etc. I’m not saying wait long. But it’s only been 10 days. Let this weekend play and out and if next weekend he’s not back to chasing you – step off like a lady that knows what she wants – which is a man to adore her and be attentive. Good luck.
redcurleysue
A guy’s actions tell you everything. So what is this guy saying to you? You are not first on his list so tell him you want someone better.
Kalyn
I think it was inappropriate and intrusive to ask to see his phone. I wouldn’t allow that on principle, especially so early on. Also, he said he wasn’t feeling well. With what’s occurring in the world right now that’s a major concern. Did you ever ask how he was feeling? If not, he may think you don’t care about his well being. Or, he may have become interested in someone else because you’re not officially exclusive.
Don’t pursue him but don’t play games either. If he’s sick and you care about him, ask him how he’s feeling in a genuine way. Don’t go through his phone…behave in such a way that lets him know you won’t be around much longer without exclusivity. Also, understand that in the first few months most men are still deciding if they want a relationship with you, regardless of what they say.
-
AuthorPosts
