Is he bullying me or is he into me? (Or something in between?)


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  • #461291 Reply
    Beatrice

    There is this guy at my University who has been in most of my classes for the past two years…
    We have never talked to each other and anyway, he is constantly surrounded by girls.
    He is extremely good-looking, so one really cannot help but notice him, and he acts like he knows it, too.
    He might be gay, but then again my gaydar is not very good (I am just thinking it because he is constantly surrounded by 10+ girls, who also spam his Facebook with how cute he is… and because his laugh is kind of effeminate).

    Anyway, so I have noticed a few things that might be entirely a product of my imagination, and again others are not.
    He really wanted to get into a class I was in, but didn’t get in (arguably, many of his friends were there too, which is probably the reason), and he’d wait in front of the door until class was over (probably also for his friends). I noticed he had a motorbike, and I always got picked up with one from my ex, and I’d see him staring after me, pretending not to see. Again, this could be in my imagination.

    One day, I would read a magazine before class, and I was really deep in thought, until I started feeling odd, and when I looked up, I saw him, circled by his girlfriends, openly looking at me and pointing at me, saying “look what she is reading”. he didn’t even talk directly TO me, he was talking ABOUT me, while I was there. I don’t see the point of him pointing it out either, since I am sure other people read as well.
    Another time, he’d sit three rows in front of me and would just turn around and stare at me. Plain out stared at me and didn’t care that I or anyone else saw. I found it annoying and perhaps sort of cute, so we just did a staring contest, me looking grim, him looking, well just looking.
    Another time, the professor would say “the only person writing a halfway decent exam was [insert my name]” and what did he do? He would say my name when everybody went quiet and then laugh. Disclaimer: I have a non-funny name.
    Only two months ago, I took an exam and was surprised to see that he was taking it as well. So when I handed it in, I had to pass him by, but of course I didn’t look at him, so he wouldn’t even remotely think that I liked him. So when I walked back, I pretended not to see anything either. I just looked up because the teacher was yelling his name, and when I looked up to look at what was the matter, I saw that he was still staring at me and not at his exam, and I briefly stared back at him and the professor started to grin. I am not sure why on earth he is staring so much and why he would feel the need to be so weird. I kind of think he is trying to bully me, or why else why would he do those weird things for everyone (including the professors and his hoes) to notice? I think if he were genuinely interested, he’d talk TO me instead of talking ABOUT me, and he would also not stare as much. Some help here, please.

    #461298 Reply
    kaye

    You already know the answer to this one, you said it yourself…”I think if he were genuinely interested, he’d talk TO me instead of talking ABOUT me.” Who knows what his problem is. Maybe he’s one of those guys who is so good looking he feels like every woman should pay attention to him and when you don’t he stares at you until you do. I knew a guy like that in college. He literally started stalking me because I was the first girl who had ever turned him down for a date and he didn’t know what to do! So he became obsessed and followed me around campus, showed up after my classes, tried to corner me at a party to kiss me and even broke into my dorm one night when he saw me leave a party and was banging on the door trying to get me to let him in. Yes, he was drunk! And I filed a report with campus security the next morning! I think it’s best to ignore this guy and his harem of women.

    #597586 Reply
    Rosalia R

    As Kaye said, he is weird and he is one of those people who is so insecure on the inside that they want everyone to like them. If one doesn’t bother to look at them, they’re obsessed with them. I have one such human in my class as well. He has been bothering me since first year. Now its been 5 years and I’m used to his crap. But the problem is the entire university thinks we like each other due to which we fight non stop since first year. Apparently the amount of fighting has reduced now over the years maybe because we’ve become mature adults. But the bullying and shouting continues and I always ignore him. The more I ignore, the more he tries to get my attention. Sometimes you can just enjoy the trash he does and move on. Men like that will never grow up. But if you’re writing here about him it probably means you like him as well. Its the undeniable truth. When someone is good looking and keeps annoying you all the time. You’d automatically like them back but you’re too stubborn to accept it. Happens and it’s a phase of life. You’ll remember all that when you’re older and smile to yourself :)

    #597589 Reply
    Algo

    He sounds awful. And I’m not sure why you feel the need to refer to those girls as hoes?

    But I’d try to stear clear from him because he’s either an insecure bully or an insecure drama queen instead of talking to you like an adult.

    #597595 Reply
    Shannon

    I’m sorry, I don’t see where he’s doing anything at all. He’s never talked to you directly. You think he stares at you and one time you heard him say your name and laugh. I don’t want to be harsh, but this to me sounds like YOU like him and want to be told he likes you. There is no real indication of that. And my personal experience with thinking someone was staring at me because he liked me…it turned out the clock was over my head, or he was staring at his monitor which was in my line of vision.

    There could be any explanation concerning why he said your name that day. He could have a friend that has that same name or he could have been making fun of the way the professor said your name. And that day with the magazine…that sounds like it may have been a private joke between he and his friends, something about the magazine, NOT you.

    Honestly,as someone who has been bullied in my lifetime (people calling me names and putting their hands on me) I fail to see where anything he has done can be construed as bullying you. Nor do I see any real evidence for him liking you. I do feel like you are fixating on him and like him yourself, whether or not you want to admit it. Because you spend a lot of time noticing and analyzing his behavior and actions.

    #597601 Reply
    Nat

    Ladies you are replying to a very old post.

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