Is he falling for me? Am I falling for the idea he is? FWB getting complicated?

He warned you that you deserve more than he can give. Unless he asks for more, under no circumstances read into it. You have been warned by him, and I actually suggest you go no further without clarification. A simple… our interaction seems to be escalating, just want to see where we are at. Then let him talk.

Sigh. I just ended a short fling with a guy who said some of the same damn things. I KNEW it was bad when it came out of his mouth, so expected it would end. And it did. He ended up being a complete ass.

As my daddy used to say – “If a man tells you he ain’t good enough for you, he probably ain’t”.

The thing is – after this long – and this much interaction and with him telling you directly he doesn’t think he’s good enough, and saying y’all are just friends, INTRODUCING you as just a friend, and then you CONTINUE to sleep with him and be treated like a girlfriend when he’s never called you his girlfriend – you are basically saying to him with your actions “Yo. This is all OK with me”. It’s called a ‘situationship’. They can last years and can definitely break your heart.

See you’re going along right now. What would happen if you said “Hey remember the other day when you introduced me as a friend? I thought that was funny because I feel like I would introduce you as my boyfriend.”? Do you think he’s magically changed his mind? — A friend of mine actually just challenged her situationship guy this past weekend after dating him for a WHOLE YEAR, they’re kids hang together, the spend every weekend together and she asked if she was his girlfriend? He flat out said he would not introduce her as that – but she could do whatever she wanted (roll eyes emoji here). An emotionally available man talks to you. He says the words as well as walks the walk. Just beware. You are in dangerous territory here.

Im sure admin can remove your name or you can go to fb and ask directly to the anm owners to do it.
I agree with most that has been said. He gave you too many disclaimers so far and especially the ‘you deserve more’ is a slick move.
There are cases where a guy changes his mind and wants to be with the woman. They realize it after the woman walked away. Which is why the no contact is so popular. But this guy never even said he was looking for a relationship or hinting at a relationship. I think you can only do what tall lady suggested. Have a talk about it so you know where you stand. And only a hell Yeah counts as a Yes. If you would really be ok worh this being casual you could just let it fizzle out but most of your post shows you have fallen for this guy.
Guys operate different when they want to lock down the woman. Hope you get clarifications soon

I hear what your saying but I think you are trying to convince yourself that you are OK with the “friendship”….I agree that you can be friends with a man but not when you are sleeping with them and have developed feelings. I feel that deep down you are interested in more with him if not you would not be “questioning” his actions. It is perfectly normal to develop feelings for someone your sleeping with, however you need to change the “friend” pattern. Your giving him the benefits when your not with someone so of course he has the best of both worlds. I was in your situation at one time, but I did not develop feelings for my FWB because I knew that after 1 year of us being FWB there was little chance of him changing the way he saw me. It was too convenient so why change it? After 3 years I met someone and told him it was done and that was it, until I broke up with that guy and there he was again with open arms for another FWB situation (even tho he had dated seriously). So once you have established that FWB it is very hard to get out of it. So I advise if you really like this guy and are hoping for more at one point then stop the FWB.

Queenie, if you both can’t talk about it directly without it causing an issue, then there’s no foundation for a real relationship that you can expect him to show up for. If you’re scared to bring it up because you’re afraid it’ll scare him off, and if he’s too passive- aggressive to bring it up, something is wrong. You sound like you can own your feelings well enough in regards to how you write about it, so I am more inclined to say he’s causing the mixed signals here. But, frankly, you should just call him out on it (in the way TallSpicy suggested) if you want this to be a healthy interaction, even if that interaction continues things being fine for you both as just FWB. Clear boundaries and expectations are important, even in just casual situations.

And I agree with everyone else who said he’s told you where he’s at with all his insecure comments about himself. I think he’s in this FWB situation because it’s all he has the capacity for with pretty much any partner at this point in time, and you’ve so far signaled that you’re comfortable enough with the situation. Nothing wrong with that as long as you’re being honest with yourself about what you want. But I wouldn’t expect him to magically change into an attentive partner if he’s not even at a point that he can open and honestly communicate with you (if he has caught feelings). Trust, communication, and consistency is required for a successful serious relationship. That’s why he would need to take clear initiative to make things official if there was any hope of him growing into a decent partner over the course of your situation with him… and that’s only one step and indicator in a process that he doesn’t sound ready for.

This might sound weird, but I kinda want a males perspective haha

We have one man, Anderson, it might take a while before he chips in.
I do think you are playing the cool girl too much and by keep insisting this works out great. Makes me wonder if youre emotionally unavailable yourself tbh. This scenario with a nice thoughtfull guy who talks and is great to have sex with is awesome but those pesky feelings get in the way.
If you cant ask what he thinks the two of you are, because that question plays up in your head from time to time, simply because you feel that would make him think you want more. Then you are not being very true to yourself or the friendship. All those lines about not rocking the boat, i dont want to mess up with emotional attention etc etc. Starting to realize you like a guy more than expected is not a crime you know.
I think you are smart and can talk this into anything you want and how it suits you etc. But think about your true emotional needs? Dont you want to find someone who can handle them without you worrying it will drive him away.
I dont want to dismiss your thought you are happy with this. Im just saying i seen some evidence of the opposite in the posts you wrote.