Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Is he just a player or what?
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 9 years, 1 month ago by
Leigh.
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Amanda
Me and this guy met online a while ago. I noticed he never uses my name in texts, calls, in person, whatever. Is that a sign of a player or am I just being paranoid and crazy? I think I read somewhere that guys will use your name in texts to make it more personalized and show that they’re a little more invested. Truth or what? It’s just something I’ve noticed recently.
Laura
Have y’all met face to face?
Amanda
Yeah we’ve met up a couple of times already.
pelican
How did he treat you when you met up? Hey may or may not be a player….do you use his name when you text him?
Amanda
Things are great when we met up. He’s very attentive, fun to talk to, we have great physical chemistry. I’ve used his name a few times. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. It’s because my friend freaked out that the guy she’s dating used her name in a text for the first time, and I was thinking to myself…huh, is that really something to be excited about or do women just get weird over small things when they’re excited about a guy?
pelican
Well,the guy I like always uses my name at the beginning of a text “Good Morning….!” and usually at the end the of a text too but I think it’s because he’s one of those clean cut,polite,religious guys…I’ve used his name from time to time or a nickname(kelvino or kelvinh) but I think it’s best to focus on how he has been in person,and it sounds like things are going well….so don’t worry about the texts….texting can mess things up,especially if it’s long distance(hopefully you live nearby and can see each other often) try to hang out in person as much as possible,that’s what counts. As for your friend getting excited about that….everyone is different and different things make them happy/excited when it comes from a person that you like. So I wouldn’t worry about that. Good luck :-)
Maria
I agree, there is something not right when a guy does not use your name, whether in writing or in speaking. Try using his name more and see if he reciprocates.
Xyz
Why is it odd? I never use a man’s name in a text..if they get the txt I assume they know it’s for them…
What a silly and minor thing to be concerned over. Now if he calls you by someone else name.. There’s a worry for you.
No wonder men think women are crazy..
Anna
Not true. It’s not completely unheard of for a guy to mass text a bunch of girls on his phone to see who’s down to entertain him. It’s happened to me before. He was obviously an idiot and got caught. But women aren’t “crazy” for worrying about things like that. Even if the guy is great, there’s always other people and situations out there that make you stop and think about your own situation. It can’t be helped sometimes.
Xyz
Just because he uses your name doesn’t mean he isn’t texting other women….
pelican
True on both counts but texting can ruin a good relationship…some people just aren’t into texting or they don’t know all of “rules” of texting etc….
Vanessa
This is silly. Concentrate on how he treats you. How consistent he is and if he spends quality time with you. Takes you on proper dates, etc.
hannah
Seriously this is nothing! Some very charming insincere people will use your name a lot. Ever noticed how sales people ask for your name? The same can be said of not using names. It is no reflection on who the person is.
emma
Yes, you’re being paranoid and crazy. Guys who use your name a lot are the ones you should avoid… it’s unnatural, forced and highly annoying.
Lekisha
Truth on every side. When anything is possible, but nothing is for sure, you shall not keep your hopes up. Just let yourself opened to meet others too, then you may be lucky enough to choose, who you want to be with :)
I do think though, that if a guy is calling you dear names,like “baby,honey,sweety” from the beginning, that is trouble too! And danger. Some people call anyone sweety, or on their names. It takes a serious time to get to KNOW someone, and know what habits he got. You always have to face that, after 1-2-3 and even a couple of month,you can only BARELY know the other person. As I say, acts matter the most, not the words. So don’t make early consequenses on anyone, just be open-minded and do what you like.
Nicole
That’s funny that you mentioned your friend being excited about s guy using her name for the first time. This guy that I met online too, went on apseveral dates, talk every now and then…at first it would always be the typical hey sexy or darling, but just the other day he actually used my name in a text. Not expecting that. It may seem stupid but it made me happy HA. Do you think it means we’re getting closer? I’m probably just overthinking.
Leigh
You’re not crazy! It is normal that after knowing someone they should use your name. But I have to say that men in the dating world will not use your name for a couple of reasons until its official.
(1) their job: like doctors police officers firemen who have to face devastating human conditions.
(2) players
(3) insecure menIt makes them feel emotionally connected.
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