Is he losing interest or am I being paranoid?

I wouldn’t message him. You either trust him or you don’t. If you trust him, then you understand that he’s sick and might be sleeping or not in the mood to talk. If you don’t trust him and think he’s faking being sick, then you should ask yourself *why* you don’t trust him? Has he given you any reason to think he’s lying? Insecurity is a huge relationship killer. If you like him and want him to contact you, give him space and find something to do until he’s feeling better.

Hey Bec,

I wouldn’t worry. He has been in touch, and he even let you know he was feeling sick. Hold off on contacting – he will be in touch when he is feeling better :)

Hi pollyanne
Yeah we have been messaging everyday and he said he misses me but wants to wait to see me until he’s 100% better so I’m not “grossed out” so we haven’t seen each other yet but still contacting me everyday.. I’ll be patient

Hi Bec,

Sounds like he is legit!

Take it as a lesson for next time. We often just assume the worst, but men are quite basic. More often than not if they say they are sick, they are actually sick.

I remember being this way when me and my bf were in the dating stage. And one day he didn’t call me after work. I immediately started thinking bad thoughts but then tried to calm myself down and be realistic about the situation. And then instead of msging and calling him I said to myself ‘ he probably just came home and fall asleep on the sofa after work’. And guess what – next day when he rang me this was exactly what he said he did. And I saved myself the humiliation of looking like a controlling and insecure gf.

Bec, Change your thoughts and notice what happens but don’t let your brain go to the negative side. I am not saying your direct thoughts are going to create a situation but there is something to be said for negative expectations. See if you have a negative thought then the thought becomes a feeling, the feeing then impacts your verbal and non-verbal communication, and negative communication can then be perceived by others, men are not intuititve at all but they get senses from women on their energy levels, in fact all men and women are attracted to happy people who smile a lot and expect good things to happen. Even if a negative thought doesn’t directly affect life, it can indirectly affect it. Let’s say you focused on him lying, then you see him, you are feeling unsure, you aren’t as happy, smiling and loving, you might try to pretend but something is off, he senses it then pulls back and now you start feeling your original negative thought confirmed. Change your thoughts now before it affects your behavior. Get happy and positive again. It’s a useful skill in all of life. You can still notice things that don’t jive for you but it’s good not to let your emotions take hold before knowing what is actually happening. Hope this makes sense.

Bec, 6 weeks is not long at all, your relationship is still in infancy stage. You have to just enjoy dating him and stop thinking negatively or fearing something that’s not even there. What Ivy said about that was perfect.

Also, if he’s says he’s sick, just belive him. Wish him well, let him know that if there should be anything you can help with him, he can contact you and THAT’S ALL! Don’t question him, don’t nag him, don’t give off the vibe that you’re suspicious of anything because HE WILL pick up on it.

Because your relationship is still new, he probably still wants to be on his A GAME when he see’s you and is around you. He doesn’t want you to see him looking all gross, sniffly, scrubby..etc. Men are HUGE babies when they are sick, it’s like they stop knowing how to look after themselves LOL. So believe him when he says he doesn’t want you to see him like that, even though you may not care so much what he looks like, HE DOES! and that matters.

My guy and I have been together for close to a year and he’s just now finally getting ok with me seeing him sick or scrubby. He’s just now somewhat ok with me coming over to his place before he cleans it up. It takes time and 6 weeks is not enough time to be fully comfortable.

So relax! He’s not pulling away, he’s not distancing (well he is but because he doesn’t want to give you his germs and freak you out with his sloppy joggers, holey pj t-shirt and unshaved face and a runny nose lol) He does enjoy his time with you and he will resume once he’s feeling better. So in the meantime, just enjoy the fact that you have a great man, live you life it’s gorgeous out now, summer is around the corner. Be happy, put out that vibe, he’ll feel it and it will make him happy!!!! :)

Bec,

I had an ex that got me thinking all negative too. To break the cycle what I did was to stop myself as soon as I noticed a negative thought in my head. I’d just tell myself “stop! Think of something positive or at least different!” Then I focused on something funny and got my mind off that negative thought.

It took me a few weeks but I realized that I was catching my “negative nellies” faster and faster each time I did it until it became so automatic that I now feel really weird if I have a really negative thought. So much so I HAVE TO think of something else otherwise it will gross me out that I’m thinking something that “yucky”.

Hope that helps.

You’re most welcome. Glad I could help. :)

I’ve been seeing someone for 3 months now and just last week, things started to become cold. He doesnt text or call me that much now and he even said that I think we rushed things and need to slow down. I said ok and he then said he needed space and time for himself. I don’t know what to do because we started so great together and two weeks ago, we’ve been planning to introduce each other to our families. Things didn’t match up with his and my schedule and now things just went from bad to worse. We don’t talk as often as we used to and I’m worried that he might no longer actually love me like I love him.